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Organizing a large family celeberation such as wedding may cause some problems

Organizing a large family celeberation such as wedding may cause some problems j99pL
Holding a large family event such as a wedding or engagement may often cause several problems. Although, there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, solution can be taken to mitigated those potential problems. There are a number of issues related to this trend. The major setback is finding the time and days. Whenever we organize a celebration we often base on family member’s schedule due to the fact that they are available at that time. It is a case in point, If the event holds on working days, the guests may have difficult to be presented at the party or they may come late the ceremony. Another serious problem is that we may face in terms of personal budget. Having any events we have to consider what we buy, and what we do, so this can cause being in serious debt However, there are several actions that could be tackled to mitigate the issues mentioned above. Firstly, preparing a well-detailed list of what we want to purchase means that we do not need to worried too much about the cost. Thus people can purchase everything in advance. Secondly, it is necessary for organizers to set up the event on the weekend days or days off. This means that all people can take part in the event on time. In conclusion, various measures can be implemented to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as holding a large family event.
Holding a large family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
such as a wedding or engagement may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause several problems. Although, there will
undoubtedly
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this trend, solution can
be taken
Did you mean "to mitigate"?
to mitigated
those potential problems.

There are a number of issues related to this trend. The major setback is finding the time and days.
“Whenever” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whenever
we organize a celebration we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
base on family member’s schedule due to the fact that they are available at that time. It is a case in point, If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
holds on working days, the guests may have difficult to
be presented
at the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
party or
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
late the ceremony. Another serious problem is that we may face in terms of personal budget. Having any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, and what we do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this can cause being in serious
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
debt


However
, there are several actions that could
be tackled
to mitigate the issues mentioned above.
Firstly
, preparing a well-detailed list of what we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
means that we do not need to worried too much about the cost.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
everything in advance.
Secondly
, it is necessary for organizers to set up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
on the weekend days or days off. This means that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
on time.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be implemented
to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as holding a large family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
.
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IELTS essay Organizing a large family celeberation such as wedding may cause some problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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