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Opinion on Overweight People Straining Health Care System

Opinion on Overweight People Straining Health Care System RROJk
The increasing population of those who are overweight hinders the health care system from solving the comorbidities associated with this problem. Moreover, there are those who believe that the key to solve this issue is to introduce lessons on sports and exercise in schools. I completely agree that this is the best way to tackle the issue on public health deterioration in connection with weight. Firstly, once schools introduce physical education to its learners, an awareness regarding obesity and weight gain can develop self – consciousness which eventually affects the health care system, globally. In other words, children are now more knowledgeable and cautious of the food they might be consuming and they will also be motivated to engage in more physical activities resulting to a decline in the proportion of overweight people. This knowledge gained can be passed down to their future children which further declines the population of those who are obese and at the same time, helping the health care industry in addressing this issue. Therefore, the more aware the student become, the more they will avoid a lifestyle that contributes to this issue. Another point to consider is that a variety of sports and exercises introduced can pique a child’s interest. With that being said, students now have more options to explore a possible area of sports they may desire and even grow their social network. Consequently, a growth in their social relationships will help them stay motivated in maintaining their fitness and health. For instance, I once had a friend who decided to enroll herself to a gym and there, she found a partner she can enjoy running and even enjoy badminton with which resulted to more calories lost. To conclude, in order to help the health care system in addressing a global problem of people who are unfit and overweight, introducing a selection of sports to students is the easiest and most effective methods.
The increasing population of those
who
are overweight hinders the
health
care
system from solving the
comorbidities
associated with this problem.
Moreover
, there are those
who
believe that the key to solve this issue is to introduce lessons on
sports
and exercise in schools. I completely
agree
that this is the best way to tackle the issue on public
health
deterioration in connection with weight.

Firstly
, once schools introduce physical education to its learners, an awareness regarding obesity and weight gain can develop self
consciousness which
eventually
affects the
health
care
system, globally.
In other words
, children are
now
more knowledgeable and cautious of the food they might be
consuming and
they will
also
be motivated
to engage in more physical activities resulting to a decline in the proportion of overweight
people
. This knowledge gained can
be passed
down to their future children which
further
declines the population of those
who
are obese and at the same time, helping the
health
care
industry in addressing this issue.
Therefore
, the more aware the student become, the more they will avoid a lifestyle that contributes to this issue.

Another point to consider is that a variety of
sports
and exercises introduced can pique a child’s interest. With that
being said
, students
now
have more options to explore a possible area of
sports
they may desire and even grow their social network.
Consequently
, a growth in their social relationships will
help
them stay motivated in maintaining their fitness and
health
.
For instance
, I once had a friend
who
decided to enroll herself to a gym and there, she found a partner she can enjoy running and even enjoy badminton with which resulted to more calories lost.

To conclude
, in order to
help
the
health
care
system in addressing a global problem of
people
who
are unfit and overweight, introducing a selection of
sports
to students is the easiest and most effective methods.
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IELTS essay Opinion on Overweight People Straining Health Care System

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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