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Online shopping is replacing offline or shopping from stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Online shopping is replacing offline or shopping from stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? RG0Q
The perspectives of offline have been a matter of contention for some time now. Many people claim that in the current situation online shopping is substituting offline purchases, which I find beneficial for two main reasons, including efficiency of such an approach and secure payment. Few would contest that online shopping is less time consuming than its counterpart. Firstly, it is because it is possible to consider a variety of different options in a few minutes simply by clicking and scrolling through web pages. In contrast shopping in a mall's boutiques requires a decent amount of time to explore all products. Moreover, shopping online provides opportunities to save up finances. One clear example to illustrate it would be all the bonuses and cash-back services that appear on the online pages. All the evidence suggests that people who frequently purchase items online spend a lower amount of money than traditional shopping customers. Another argument for online shopping should be its relatively higher security. First and foremost reason is partnership between store and bank, which have a clear system of payment hard to hack by malware. To further support this point let’s take an example of my online shopping experience, which took only two minutes and was absolutely clear to all of the participants of the process (me, customer and seller). To conclude, I personally support the tendency of online shops getting popular since it contributes to better time and finances management, along with higher security. If online stores will keep this features, it can be predicted that they will likely outcompete offline markets.
The perspectives of offline have been a matter of contention for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is substituting offline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, which I find beneficial for two main reasons, including efficiency of such an approach and secure payment.

Few would contest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
than its counterpart.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is possible to consider a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options in a few minutes
simply
by clicking and scrolling through web pages. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in a mall's boutiques requires a decent amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to explore all products.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
provides opportunities to save up finances. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example to illustrate it would be all the bonuses and cash-back services that appear on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
pages. All the evidence suggests that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
spend a lower amount of money than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
customers.

Another argument for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
should be its
relatively
higher security.
First
and foremost reason is partnership between store and bank, which have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
system of payment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to hack by malware. To
further
support this point
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s take an example of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience, which took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two minutes and was
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
participants of the process (me, customer and seller).

To conclude
, I
personally
support the tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops getting popular since it contributes to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and finances management, along with higher security. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
this features, it can
be predicted
that they will likely
Possible spelling mistake found.
outcompete
offline markets.
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IELTS essay Online shopping is replacing offline or shopping from stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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