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Online shopping is replacing offline or shopping from stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Online shopping is replacing offline or shopping from stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? 0An9G
Cutting-edge technology has revolutionized the working of contemporary society. In the former eras, people went out to buy daily stuff and even waited in long queues to get the product. Nevertheless, hi-tech introduction to online shopping has interchanged the scenario and to some extent substituting offline shopping by digging out both positive and negative aspects. Therefore, I think it comes up with both merits and demerits. One of the main advantages of online shopping is the economy of time. Nowadays people can check and choose any goods online using up-to-day technologies such as Internet, smartphones, laptops, etc. Consequently, it does not take prolonged time to make a choice of a particular thing and allow people not to waste time in endless queues. And this brings to modern societies the most valuable resource, time. On the other hand, the major disadvantage of online shopping is unnecessity of personnel. Following this tendency, a large quantity of stores does not need different professions any more. For instance, such as sellers, guards, etc… Indisputably, people who always work at such positions become useless. As a result, it can carry a negative impact such as the increase of unemployment rates. To conclude, every invention comes with two sides. If it has eased our lives, then it poses some drawbacks also.
Cutting-edge technology has revolutionized the working of contemporary society. In the former eras,
people
went out to
buy
daily stuff and even waited in long queues to
get
the product.
Nevertheless
, hi-tech introduction to
online
shopping
has interchanged the scenario and to
some
extent substituting offline
shopping
by digging out both
positive
and
negative
aspects.
Therefore
, I
think
it
comes
up with both merits and demerits. One of the main advantages of
online
shopping
is the economy of time. Nowadays
people
can
check
and choose any
goods
online
using up-to-day technologies such as Internet, smartphones, laptops, etc.
Consequently
, it does not take prolonged time to
make
a choice of a particular thing and
allow
people
not to waste time in endless queues. And this brings to modern societies the most valuable resource, time.

On the other hand
, the major disadvantage of
online
shopping
is
unnecessity
of personnel. Following this tendency, a large quantity of stores does not need
different
professions
any more
.
For instance
, such as sellers, guards, etc…
Indisputably
,
people
who always work at such positions become useless.
As a result
, it can carry a
negative
impact such as the increase of unemployment rates.

To conclude
, every invention
comes
with two sides. If it has
eased
our
lives
, then it poses
some
drawbacks
also
.
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IELTS essay Online shopping is replacing offline or shopping from stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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