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One way my personality has changed

One way my personality has changed lgWo
One way my personality has changed since I was a child is that I have learned to cooperate with others. This was important to me for two specific reasons. The first reason is that it helped me learn to work with other people. Cooperation with others allowed me to participate in their projects and it enabled me to learn more from them. The second reason is that it helped me understand how to manage a group and how to interact with others. I also learned that how cooperation is important in order to finish a big project. That’s why; this changed my personality.
One way my personality has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
since I was a child is that I have learned to cooperate with others. This was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to me for two specific reasons.

The
first
reason is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me learn to work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Cooperation with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to participate in their projects and it enabled me to learn more from them.

The second reason is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me understand how to manage a group and how to interact with others. I
also
learned that how cooperation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to finish a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
project.

That’s why; this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my personality.
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IELTS essay One way my personality has changed

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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