Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweighs the disadvantages? mdO1
The average life expectancy is increasing these days owing to advances in medicine. As a result, it is expected that the share of elderly in the population will outperform the share of young people in future. Despite there are some drawbacks of this process that ought to be taken into account, I am convinced that the advantages it brings clearly outweigh any disadvantages. First and foremost, providing an opportunity to live longer simply means saving lives. During previous decades, people lived for ten years less, on average, in comparison with the current median lifespan. Hence, this extra time gives an opportunity to enjoy life, have a pleasant retirement or help younger generations with vast experience and wisdom. For example, if the famous scientist Daniel Kanneman had lived longer, he could have discovered more cognitive laws and thus help mankind. Nevertheless, some issues have to be taken into account. The most significant problem that comes with older people outnumbering younger is an increasing burden on society. In other words, working people will be obliged to cover pension payments of even a greater number of individuals. Another possible issue that may arise is difficulties in building a career. As far as many top positions will be occupied by old people, young professionals will struggle to have a promotion. For example, in the countries with a longer average lifespan, such as the USA, a medium age of managers is 15 years higher than in countries where people live less, such as Brazil. In conclusion, despite some problems that an increasing lifespan provokes may arise, I believe that human life is priceless. So, all these issues are relatively minor in comparison with the advantages of longer lives. Thus benefits of this development clearly outweigh any of the disadvantages.
The average life expectancy is increasing these days owing to advances in medicine.
As a result
, it is
expected
that the share of elderly in the population will outperform the share of young
people
in future
. Despite there are
some
drawbacks of this process that ought to
be taken
into account, I
am convinced
that the advantages it brings
clearly
outweigh any disadvantages.

First
and foremost, providing an opportunity to
live
longer
simply
means saving
lives
. During previous decades,
people
lived
for ten years less, on average,
in comparison
with the
current
median lifespan.
Hence
, this extra time gives an opportunity to enjoy life, have a pleasant retirement or
help
younger generations with vast experience and wisdom.
For example
, if the
famous
scientist Daniel
Kanneman
had
lived
longer
, he could have discovered more cognitive laws and
thus
help
mankind.

Nevertheless
,
some
issues
have to
be taken
into account. The most significant problem that
comes
with older
people
outnumbering younger is an increasing burden on society.
In other words
, working
people
will
be obliged
to cover pension payments of even a greater number of individuals. Another possible issue that may arise is difficulties in building a career. As far as
many
top positions will
be occupied
by
old
people
, young professionals will struggle to have a promotion.
For example
, in the countries with a
longer
average lifespan, such as the USA, a medium age of managers is 15 years higher than in countries where
people
live
less, such as Brazil.

In conclusion
, despite
some
problems that an increasing lifespan provokes may arise, I believe that human life is priceless.
So
, all these issues are
relatively
minor
in comparison
with the advantages of
longer
lives
.
Thus
benefits of this development
clearly
outweigh any of the disadvantages.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts