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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? mMgd
More people agree that modern lifestyle can be longer, healthier, both physically and mentally due to fast- growing and evolving medical cares. Personally, I feel that longevity might be a controversial topic, as it claims to be certainly a worrying challenge at the same time brings undoubted benefits. Regarding the effectiveness and advantages of life expectancy, evidence suggests that an overwhelming majority of people uses up time or spend the whole life by raising offspring, children and be implicated by pressing matters such as studying, work, career progression, to accumulate funds and so on. Thus, an excessive use of their strain have caused inadequate development and feeling exhausted which appear to be a substantial drawback. Therefore, to outline possible remedies, nobody can deny, that the rest of their life of older people should spend on their pursuits, which are viable to achieve during the life, as well as hobbies. For instance, to take time for traveling or come across with any other entertainment or all time favorite activity to raise awareness of the level of excitement of life. In addition, turning to other positive effects of living longer, here is a big issue with grandchildren, as many families are dual- income, it is by no means clear that spending as much time as possible for parents with children becoming a challenge. That is to say, older people can establish ground rules for their grandchildren, as well as to absorb conventions and codes of conduct is a pressing matter, particularly after- school childcare. Conversely, living longer resist with staying healthy that many people striving to deal with. All in all, a majority amount of chronic diseases and health issues stem from sedentary lifestyles and circumstances which lead to obesity. This means as people get older the inactive life haunts, which can cause serious difficulties. Such negative developments occur, so it is better to live high qualitatively, than longer but with a certain amount of sufferings and disturbances. In summary, we have discussed, both views of life expectancy and living longer which are creating and involving positive and negative effects.
More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that modern lifestyle can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
, healthier, both
physically
and mentally due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
- growing and evolving medical cares.
Personally
, I feel that longevity might be a controversial topic, as it claims to be
certainly
a worrying challenge at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
brings undoubted benefits.

Regarding the effectiveness and advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy, evidence suggests that an overwhelming majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or spend the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by raising offspring, children and
be implicated
by pressing matters such as studying, work, career progression, to accumulate funds and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
, an excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their strain have caused inadequate development and feeling exhausted which appear to be a substantial drawback.
Therefore
, to outline possible remedies, nobody can deny, that the rest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend on their pursuits, which are viable to achieve during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
as well
as hobbies.
For instance
, to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for traveling or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across with any other entertainment or all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
favorite activity to raise awareness of the level of excitement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
, turning to other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
, here is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue with grandchildren, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are dual- income, it is by no means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that spending as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as possible for parents with children becoming a challenge.
That is
to say, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can establish ground
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for their grandchildren,
as well
as to absorb conventions and codes of conduct is a pressing matter,
particularly
after- school childcare.

Conversely
, living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
resist with staying healthy that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
striving to deal with. All in all, a majority amount of chronic diseases and health issues stem from sedentary lifestyles and circumstances which lead to obesity. This means as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older the inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
haunts, which can cause serious difficulties. Such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments occur,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
high
qualitatively
, than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with a certain amount of sufferings and disturbances.

In summary, we have discussed, both views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy and living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
which are creating and involving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
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IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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