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Nowadays, the internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development? N9G0
Internet and TV are the most significant in our life. Every person depends on that device. So, it has a great opportunity. People express their opinion and talent by the internet and TV show programs. There are a lot of facilities in the present time. I agree with this statement the internet and television platform people benefit too much. Firstly, all over the world people are using the internet. We using the internet by our smartphones and other devices. Now, this present time we can see that people create new thinking and they can share their opinion by the internet. Such as, talk about YouTube, Facebook, Tik-Tok and other sectors are more popular. Basically, young generation the most attractive and they create and learn new subjects by the internet. Such as they create new video and then upload this video on YouTube. This is a big opportunity. Every country celebrity people share their picture and opinion by Instagram, Facebook others. In the recent time any people can easily viral in the internet. For example, a boy love song. He does not properly support with his family. So, he sings a beautiful song. The next time the song publish on the internet then the boy viral on internet world. A number of Youtubers work different topics. Sometimes it has bad impact in our society. Young people always try to celibraty. A few people choose wrong decision. They lost their money by broker. All time these people think how can be celebrety in the future. Secondly, Tv is the most significant in our life. Every house people watches Tv. We can see many other channels. Basically, like the Tv shows singing programe, political issues, International news others. For example, some TV shows helps our children and they enjoy a lot of. We can see any kinds of programe and watching movies, dramas and news. On the other hand, Tv is great relaxation in our body and mind. We are enjoying it too much. A few bad results effects in our society. To conclude, the internet and Tv shows programes good result in our society. The most important issues people can easily express their merit and opinion.
Internet and TV are the most significant in our life. Every person depends on that device.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it has a great opportunity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
express their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
and talent by the internet and TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facilities in the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement the internet and television platform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
benefit too much.
Firstly
, all over the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using the internet.
Did you mean "We're using", "We are using", or "We were using"?
We using
the internet by our smartphones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
devices.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, this present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thinking and
they can share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
by the internet. Such as, talk about YouTube, Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tik-Tok
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors are more popular.
Basically
, young generation the most
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attractive and
they create and learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
subjects by the internet. Such as they create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
video and then upload this video on YouTube. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
opportunity. Every country celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share their picture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
by Instagram, Facebook others. In the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
viral
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
For example
, a boy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
song. He does not
properly
support with his family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he sings a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
song. The
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the song publish on the internet then the boy viral on internet world. A number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtubers
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topics.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact in our society. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always try to
Possible spelling mistake found.
celibraty
. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision. They lost their money by broker. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
how can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebrety
in the future.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
is the most significant in our life. Every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
watches
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
channels.
Basically
, like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
singing
Possible spelling mistake found.
programe
, political issues, International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
others.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any kinds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
programe
and watching movies, dramas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
is great relaxation in our body and mind. We are enjoying it too much. A few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results effects in our society.
To conclude
, the internet and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "programs", the plural form of the noun 'program'?
programes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result in our society. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
express their merit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, the internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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