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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

The development in science and technology has led to improved medical and healthcare systems all around the world. Better medical and health facilities have increased the life expectancy of adults. This advancement brings with its own advantages and challenges. With the improvised health and medical care, we can detect the early stages of disease such as cancer, tuberculosis, heart problems, etc. Detecting a disease at an early stage means being able to tackle it quicker and living for more years to come. This also has its own challenges. With increase in older population in countries across the globe, there will be certain amount of pressure on the governments to take care of them. Government will need to invest its resources on taking care of the ageing population. It also means commercialization of old age homes. An increasing older population might invest their life savings in taking care of themselves through these old age homes. If there is an increase in older population and decrease in younger population then the productivity of a nation may decrease since there are less young people in the nation to form a productive taskforce. The best example of this will be Japan. Japan has what is called as ‘ageing population. ’ The demography of Japan is interesting to note since they have more number of older population. There has been decline of birth rates in Japan which is seen as alarming. Hence, advancement of medical and health care systems has led to increase in life expectancy but has created obstacles for the government and civil society to deal.
The development in science and technology has led to
improved
medical
and healthcare systems all around the world. Better
medical
and health facilities have increased the life expectancy of adults.

This advancement brings with its
own
advantages and challenges. With the improvised health and
medical
care
, we can detect the early stages of disease such as cancer, tuberculosis, heart problems, etc. Detecting a disease at an early stage means being able to tackle it quicker and living for more years to
come
.

This
also
has its
own
challenges. With increase in
older
population
in countries across the globe, there will be certain amount of pressure on the
governments
to take
care
of them.
Government
will need to invest its resources on taking
care
of the
ageing
population
. It
also
means commercialization of
old
age homes. An increasing
older
population
might invest their life savings in taking
care
of themselves through these
old
age homes. If there is an increase in
older
population
and decrease in younger
population
then the productivity of a nation may decrease since there are less young
people
in the nation to form a productive taskforce. The best example of this will be
Japan
.
Japan
has what
is called
as ‘
ageing
population
. ’ The demography of
Japan
is interesting to note since they have more number of
older
population
. There has been decline of birth rates in
Japan
which is
seen
as alarming.
Hence
, advancement of
medical
and health
care
systems has led to increase in life expectancy
but
has created obstacles for the
government
and civil society to deal.
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IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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