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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Over the past decade, our medical care has improved greatly. We have advanced technology, skilled doctors, and we also expanded our knowledge about the human body and its mysteries. Improved medical care has saved a large number of lives. Nowadays people can enjoy their old age, with little to no medical issues. According to the worldometers the birthrate is higher than the death rate, and old age is increasing to its maximum day by day. If there is any kind of accident, the first thing anyone thinks about is getting to the hospital as fast as they can, and the doctors will ensure the health of the sick. The only disadvantage that comes along with doctors and hospitals is the medical bills. Now in some countries, medical bills are paid for, in other places citizens struggle to pay up their bills. But that's the cost that we have to pay for the advancement of medicine. Along with this our earth's natural resources are being depleted, and our life span is increasing causing over populations, which is very harmful to the environment. Furthermore, mankind can never stop its curiosity and the drive toward knowing everything. Humans have made great achievements but all of them had a cost. Saving people's life is a great honor and blessing, now it is our turn to help the drawbacks that come along with it.
Over the past decade, our
medical
care has
improved
greatly
. We have advanced technology, skilled doctors, and we
also
expanded our knowledge about the human body and its mysteries.
Improved
medical
care has saved
a large number of
lives
.

Nowadays
people
can enjoy their
old
age, with
little
to no
medical
issues. According to the
worldometers
the birthrate is higher than the death rate, and
old
age is increasing to its maximum day by day. If there is any kind of accident, the
first
thing anyone
thinks
about is getting to the hospital as
fast
as they can, and the doctors will ensure the health of the sick.

The
only
disadvantage that
comes
along with doctors and hospitals is the
medical
bills.
Now
in
some
countries,
medical
bills
are paid
for, in other places citizens struggle to pay up their bills.
But
that's the cost that we
have to
pay for the advancement of medicine. Along with this our earth's natural resources are
being depleted
, and our life span is increasing causing over populations, which is
very
harmful to the environment.

Furthermore
, mankind can never
stop
its curiosity and the drive toward knowing everything. Humans have made great achievements
but
all of them had a cost. Saving
people
's life is a great honor and blessing,
now
it is our turn to
help
the drawbacks that
come
along with it.
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IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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