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Once chl'ldren sforl schoor, leochers hove more influence lhon porents on lheir inlellecluol ond socio, developmenl. To whol exlenf do you agree or disagree?

Once chl'ldren sforl schoor, leochers hove more influence lhon porents on lheir inlellecluol ond socio, developmenl. To whol exlenf aAEKV
finitely agree with the statement that once children get admission in school, teachers have more impact on them than even their parents. A number of arguments surround my opinion. To begin with, children spend quality time with teachers. Although they spend more time with parents at home but this time is not as productive as the small amount of time spent with teachers. We all know that parents are busy with their work most of the time and even if children are around, they hardly pay any attention to them. Teachers, on the other hand are in school for the students. All the time they are either teaching the students or guiding them in extra -cu rricu la r activities. They keep children focused on study and as a result have more intellectual impact on them. What is more, teachers are role models for students. They are scholars in action. They not only influence intellectually but socially. Students inadvertently follow their teachers' behaviour too. They observe how the teacher walks, talks and tackles difficult situations. At home they have parents to guide them socially, but it is seen that in nuclear families, parents hardly find time for this. Whatever social skills children learn are from TV or other activities they do at home. So definitely teachers have an edge over parents even as far as social skills are concerned. Teachers also guide students for their future careers. Students follow teachers more than parents because they feel that teachers are more aware of the world around them and they have better capability of guiding them. So, they depend on teachers more than parents. To conclude, it can be said that once the schooling starts, teachers and parents both have influence but teachers influence children more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more

impact on them than even their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. A number of arguments surround my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Although they spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at

home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is not as productive as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. We all know that

parents are busy with their work most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are around, they hardly pay any

attention to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
,
on the other hand
are in school for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are either

teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
or guiding them in extra -cu
Possible spelling mistake found.
rricu
la r activities. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
focused on study

and
as a result
have more intellectual impact on them.

What is more
,
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teachers
are role models for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They are scholars in action. They not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
influence

intellectually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
socially
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
inadvertently
follow their teachers'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
too. They observe how

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
walks, talks and tackles difficult situations. At
The comma is probably missing here: "home, they".
home they
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to guide them
socially
,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in nuclear families,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hardly find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for this. Whatever social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn

are from TV or other activities they do at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have an edge over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
even as

far as social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are concerned
.

Teachers
also
guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their future careers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


they feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are more aware of the world around
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they have better capability of

guiding them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
more than parents.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that once the schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
both have influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more.
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IELTS essay Once chl'ldren sforl schoor, leochers hove more influence lhon porents on lheir inlellecluol ond socio, developmenl. To whol exlenf

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Once chl'ldren sforl schoor, leochers hove more influence lhon porents on lheir inlellecluol ond socio, developmenl. To whol exlenf do you agree or disagree?