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On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it is better for young people to remain with their family. They behold the Parental support and their family trust them anymore. For example, family is the main reasons for giving the motivation and it can lead to self-esteem themselves which is doing many activities such a studying and working which of them provided many opportunities from their family. Moreover, they are the main role of financial support for them for giving money for their study which is getting the relevant experience for their career.

On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it is better for young people to remain with their family. They behold the Parental support and their family trust them anymore. For example, family is the main reasons for giving the motivation and it can lead to self-esteem themselves which is doing many activities such a studying and working which of them provided many opportunities from their family. Moreover, they are the main role of financial support for them for giving money for their study which is getting the relevant experience for their career. 96xKn
On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it is better for young people to remain with their family. They behold the Parental support and their family trust them anymore. For example, family is the main reasons for giving the motivation and it can lead to self-esteem themselves which is doing many activities such a studying and working which of them provided many opportunities from their family. Moreover, they are the main role of financial support for them for giving money for their study which is getting the relevant experience for their career.
On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it is better for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to remain with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. They behold the Parental support and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trust them anymore.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the main reasons for giving the motivation and it can lead to self-esteem themselves which is doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities such a studying and working which of them provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Moreover
, they are the main role of financial support for them for giving money for their study which is getting the relevant experience for their career.

IELTS essay On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it is better for young people to remain with their family. They behold the Parental support and their family trust them anymore. For example, family is the main reasons for giving the motivation and it can lead to self-esteem themselves which is doing many activities such a studying and working which of them provided many opportunities from their family. Moreover, they are the main role of financial support for them for giving money for their study which is getting the relevant experience for their career.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it is better for young people to remain with their family. They behold the Parental support and their family trust them anymore. For example, family is the main reasons for giving the motivation and it can lead to self-esteem themselves which is doing many activities such a studying and working which of them provided many opportunities from their family. Moreover, they are the main role of financial support for them for giving money for their study which is getting the relevant experience for their career.