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Old thing kept in our house

Old thing kept in our house 85W2w
Everyone heard this saying that "old is gold "and as far as i am concerned this saying is damn right because old things are very good and made up of realistic material as well as these things plays a vital role in keeping us attached to our tradition Today i would like to talk about a gold necklace which is kept in our house for a long time. This fascinating necklace is owned by my grandmother. When my grandmother got married her mother gave her this charming necklace as a gift. My grandmother wear this necklace on many functions and parties in her age. I became known to this fact because i have seen many photographs of my grandmother wearing it. When my father got married and my mother came to this house my grandmother gifted this necklace to my mother. My mother liked this necklace extremely in fact sometimes i really wanted to wear it. It is very charming necklace and have a traditional look. My mother looks damn beautiful when she wore it On the other hand we need some safety precautions to take it with care and handled it properly. This necklace is very costly consequently we kept it in safe almirah where no one can access this easily. In conclusion there are plethora of old things placed in our home but this necklace is most precious and costly from all of them. And we all kept this in our house as my grandmother 's remembrance.
Everyone heard this saying that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is gold
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
and as far as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am concerned
this saying is damn right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and made up of realistic material
as well
as these things plays a vital role in keeping us attached to our tradition

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to talk about a gold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for a long time. This fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
. When my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
gave her this charming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
as a gift. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
wear this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
functions and parties in her age. I became known to this fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
photographs of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
wearing it.

When my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
came to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
gifted this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
liked this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
extremely
in fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
really
wanted to wear it. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
charming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
and have a traditional look. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
looks damn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
when she wore it

On the other hand
we need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
safety precautions to take it with care and handled it
properly
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly
consequently
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
it in safe
Possible spelling mistake found.
almirah
where no one can access this
easily
.

In conclusion
there are plethora of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things placed in our home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necklace
is most precious and costly from all of them. And we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
this in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
's remembrance.
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IELTS essay Old thing kept in our house

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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