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Write an essay about online and offline education nowadays in school during the day

Write an essay about online and offline education nowadays in school during the day 1KVM
Nowdays distance learning has become increasingly popular among the students,  and this trend is perceived differently by learners. Many students believe that studying online gives them self-development and discover new abilities, while other think that online education is not effective without teachers and tutors. And there is no doubt that online education has positive and negative consequences. First of all, students is able to study at their own pace. As a result they can distribute suitable / flexible schedule and time as they want and don't feel any pressure or stress. Secondly, online education save money and time. For this reason, no need to wake up an hour earlier and spend time and money getting to school and canteen charges everyday. Thirdly due to the pandemic, that is happening at the moment, online education reduces the risk of getting sick. As a result the student will be healthy in safety. Finally, a student gets to spend more time with their friends and family. This can lead to them feeling more secure, overjoyed and satisfied. On the other hand, not going to school has it's disadvantages. To begin with, there is no contact with other students, society. That could make a student feel stressful and lonely, which can affect on their psyche and may appear a phobia of communication with people. Furthermore very often there are interference with equipment and the Internet. Consequently the student may miss the lesson and not understand the topic. Taking everything into account, I strongly believe that online education it is not for everyone. But it is very convenient for students because it relieves and accelerates a method to deepen themselves skills.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
distance learning has become
increasingly
popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and this trend 
is perceived
differently
by learners.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
believe that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
gives them self-development and discover new abilities, while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not effective without teachers and tutors. And there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is able to study at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.
As a result
they can distribute suitable / flexible schedule and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as they want and don't feel any pressure or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
save money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For this reason
, no need to wake up an hour earlier and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money getting to school and canteen charges
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Thirdly
due to the pandemic,
that is
happening at the moment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of getting sick.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will be healthy in safety.
Finally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends and family. This can lead to them feeling more secure, overjoyed and satisfied.

On the other hand
, not going to school has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
disadvantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no contact with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, society. That could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
feel stressful and lonely, which can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their psyche and may appear a phobia of communication with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
there are interference with equipment and the Internet.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
may miss the lesson and not understand the topic.

Taking everything into account, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
it is not for everyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it relieves and accelerates a method to deepen themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Write an essay about online and offline education nowadays in school during the day

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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