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Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks? 6Pl8
It is true that due to globalization most of the academicians are travel to foreign countries for their further education. To a major extent this trend is advantageous to learners and the country they are visited. Moreover, there are certain darker sides too. Both the aspects are elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs. Discussing the merits, most importantly, in foreign country specialization course has its own importance. To elaborate, in the foreign nations these courses are teach by professors who have deep knowledge and understanding about the the course. In fact, most of them are PhD scholars. For instance, Canada is now becoming a academic hub most of the overseas students prefer to visit this nation as the education quality is greater. In addition to this, students can perform his own tasks such as cleaning of clothes, cooking, and managing the bills and rents of their homes. In short they become independent. Apart from this, the countries revenue will increases. This is to say that more number of international students brings more finance along with them. As a result countries economy will increases. Furthermore, after completion of course they can easily get the opportunity to work with such candidate. Thus, they can get manpower too. Due to this brain drain will not happen. That is study in their nation and works also for their nation. Nonetheless, it brings certain disadvantages too. To begin with, study at overseas demands huge finance. Students who wish to study in another country need to take a loan for their education and it is burdensome for their parents. Moreover, students can not focus on their studies during the course as he lives alone he need to do all house hold chores with single hand. Finally, they are constantly under pressure to pay the bills and rents of their place to live. To cap it all, the host country need to maintain the employment rate and housing facility with the increase in population. To sum up, as each and every thing has two sides. Studying overseas brings merits such as in dependency and quality education and economic growth to country simultaneously it also brings demerits too. Such as managing the employment, pressure of managing funds and paying the loan amount. As each and every thing has two sides.
It is true that due to globalization most of the academicians are travel to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. To a major extent this trend is advantageous to learners and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
are visited
.
Moreover
, there are certain darker sides too. Both the aspects
are elaborated
in the ensuing paragraphs.

Discussing the merits, most
importantly
, in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
specialization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance. To elaborate, in the foreign nations these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are
Consider using a past participle here: "taught".
teach
by professors who have deep knowledge and understanding about
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. In fact, most of them are PhD scholars.
For instance
, Canada is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
academic hub most of the overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to visit this nation as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
quality is greater.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can perform his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tasks such as cleaning of clothes, cooking, and managing the bills and rents of their homes. In
The comma is probably missing here: "short, they".
short they
become independent.

Apart from this, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
revenue will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "increase"
increases
. This is to say that more number of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
more finance along with them.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
economy will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "increase"
increases
.
Furthermore
, after completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to work with such candidate.
Thus
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
manpower too. Due to this brain drain will not happen.
That is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in their nation and works
also
for their nation.

Nonetheless, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
certain disadvantages too. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at overseas demands huge finance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
need to take a loan for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and it is burdensome for their parents.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
as he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
alone he need to do all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold chores with single hand.
Finally
, they are
constantly
under pressure to pay the bills and rents of their place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. To cap it all, the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
need to maintain the employment rate and housing facility with the increase in population.

To sum up, as each and every thing has two sides. Studying overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
merits such as in dependency and quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and economic growth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
simultaneously
it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
demerits too. Such as managing the employment, pressure of managing funds and paying the loan amount. As each and every thing has two sides.
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IELTS essay Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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