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Of Altamonte students polled, 65 percent say they participate in either an intramural, varsity, or community sports team. Being a member of a sport team keeps one fit and healthy and promotes an active life style. Since the majority of students are taking

Of Altamonte students polled, 65 percent say they participate in either an intramural, varsity, or community sports team. Being a member of a sport team keeps one fit and healthy and promotes an active life style. Since the majority of students are taking QLn7x
The argument that Altamonte High School should eliminate all physical education classes and put more resources into improvement of the intramural and varsity sports teams, may seem reasonable at the first glance. The announcement makes a valid argument, one would be correct if its premises were true and its conclusion relies on assumptions, which suffer from dearth of solid evidences. First of all, the writer says that because 65 percent of students participate in an intramural, varsity, or community sports teams, the majority of the students care about their physical fitness. However, the. . .
The argument that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Altamonte
High School should eliminate all physical education classes and put more resources into improvement of the intramural and varsity sports teams, may seem reasonable at the
first
glance. The announcement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a valid argument, one would be correct if its premises were true and its conclusion relies on assumptions, which suffer from dearth of solid evidences.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the writer says that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
65 percent of students participate in an intramural, varsity, or community sports teams, the majority of the students care about their physical fitness.
However
,
Did you forget something after 'the'?
the.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Of Altamonte students polled, 65 percent say they participate in either an intramural, varsity, or community sports team. Being a member of a sport team keeps one fit and healthy and promotes an active life style. Since the majority of students are taking

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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