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Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy? RapQ
In today's world, gaining weight is increasing at an alarming rate among young and old. Being fat was considered as an ailment among aged people before; whereas, this thing is getting common among younger generation as well. In this essay, i shall discuss the reasons behind this and also suggest possible solutions to tackle this issue. Increase in the consumption of junk food and sedentary life style among youth is the major cause of fattening among youth. a plethora of people these days prefer packed meals over home cooked, because of lack of time to cook which is very unhealthy for human consumption. Another reason of obesity in youngsters is the life style that we follow these days. Most of the people have desk bound long hour jobs giving them no time for extracurricular activities or exercise. A recent survey by university of Texas revealed that in more than 60% of people obesity is due to processed foods and life style. There are number of ways by which individuals and governments together can help to eradicate this issue. First of all, putting high taxes on fast foods can reduce their demand among masses as people always prefer budget friendly things. Another thing is that the organizations can educate and aware people about the hazardous caused by snackfood and its effects on health. People should also try to get sometime for themselves despite of their busy work schedule so that they can take part in sports activities or join some gyms or any fitness club. In conclusion, i would say maintaining a proper healthy lifeby taking part in sports, going for walks and cutting down the habit of eating unhealthy foods that most of the youth follow can limit this issue.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, gaining weight is increasing at an alarming rate among young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
was considered
as an ailment among aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
; whereas, this thing is getting common among younger generation
as well
. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
shall discuss the reasons behind this and
also
suggest possible solutions to tackle this issue.

Increase in the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and sedentary life style among youth is the major cause of fattening among youth.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days prefer packed meals over home cooked,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of time to cook which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhealthy for human consumption. Another reason of obesity in youngsters is the life style that we follow these days. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have desk bound long hour jobs giving them no time for extracurricular activities or exercise. A recent survey by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of Texas
revealed that in more than 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
obesity is due to processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and life style.

There are number of ways by which individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
together can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to eradicate this issue.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, putting high taxes on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their demand among masses as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always prefer budget friendly things. Another thing is that the organizations can educate and aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the hazardous caused by
Possible spelling mistake found.
snackfood
and its effects on health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
also
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sometime for themselves
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
their busy work schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in sports activities or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gyms or any fitness club.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would say maintaining a proper healthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
lifeby
taking part in sports, going for walks and cutting down the habit of eating unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that most of the youth follow can limit this issue.
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IELTS essay Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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