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Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem ?

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem? pwLy
As society is developing rapidly, the lifestyle of people have changed. They like to live in a modern way. Obesity is a one of the popular disease among different age group people. Therefore, higher should take stringent decisions to prevent this problem. In this essay, I will elucidate some plausible solutions to reduce this problem. To begin with, there are few solutions to curb with obesity. Firstly, most of the individuals have unhealthy lifestyle due to numerous reasons. There are various people who are overweight because of sedentary job or unhealthy diet. They do not care about their diet, as they always busy in their job or study. There is no denying that nowadays more and more people have busy pace but they have to take care their body to keep fit. Although junk food is delicious due to this, people do not have waste time to prepare food but it increases the level of obesity. Nevertheless it is irrefutable that government can take any decision, so they should tax the junk food companies heavily and increases the price of fast food. As a result, there is a more chance to went up fresh vegetables and food and this should be provided in every market. In addition to this, not only the authorities should take the responsibility, but also every individual should take care of their body condition. People should find motivations to exercise regular basis. The government may fund for building the new sports centre and gym in every part of the town. So, that people can do exercise when they are free. Not only young people can go to these centre but also senior citizen. The professionals must be hired for different age group, as they know how to handle people and which exercise is precise for different age group people. Moreover, students who study and their parents can teach them about healthy lifestyle such as doing the indoor activities to take time from their study. As a consequence, obesity level will decrease gradually. To conclude, obesity is a perpastive problem nowadays. Government and citizen should try to hard together to solve this problem. Many people are obese because of inevitable factors, they need to aware some potential serious diseases that they might get.
As society is developing
rapidly
, the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. They like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern way. Obesity is a one of the popular disease among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, higher should take stringent decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. In this essay, I will elucidate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are few solutions to curb with obesity.
Firstly
, most of the individuals have unhealthy lifestyle due to numerous reasons. There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are overweight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sedentary job or unhealthy diet. They do not care about their diet, as they always busy in their job or study. There is no denying that nowadays more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busy pace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care their body to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit. Although junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is delicious due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have waste time to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it increases the level of obesity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
it is irrefutable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take any decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should tax the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
heavily
and increases the price of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
As a result
, there is a more chance to went up fresh vegetables and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and this should
be provided
in every market.
In addition
to this, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the authorities should take the responsibility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
every individual should take care of their body condition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should find motivations to exercise regular basis. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
may fund for building the new sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and gym in every part of the town.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do exercise when they are free. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go to these
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
senior citizen. The professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be hired
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age group, as they know how to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and which exercise is precise for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, students who study and their parents can teach them about healthy lifestyle such as doing the indoor activities to take time from their study. As a consequence, obesity level will decrease
gradually
.
To conclude
, obesity is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
perpastive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
nowadays.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and citizen should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
together to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are obese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inevitable factors, they need to aware
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential serious diseases that they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
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IELTS essay Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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