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Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem OQky
Nowadays, people generally consume junk food which makes them unhealthy and results in increased weight. Obesity is becoming a worldwide pandemic. The various ways to deal with this problem will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Apparently, In 21 century, the lifestyle of people have changed. Today most of the people prefer to eat outside in hotels instead of cooking and eating healthy food at home. Social media has also influenced this thing as people see their friends, relatives and their favourite actors uploads picture of eating out junk food like pizza, burger, sandwich and this led to craving in person who is watching these types of posts and then to show other people and make them feel jealous. They also go out and eat junk food and uploads images with different hashtags. In most families both husband and wife are working and they come home exhausted by their office life and they do not have enough energy to cook food so they just either go out for dinner or get the food delivered. Internet has also affected as everytime when we open youtube or other application in our phone there are tons of advertisements of food such as zomato, dominos, kfc. People are becoming unhealthy and unfit so to tackle this problem people should consume healthy home made food. They should rely on fruits and vegetables. People need to adopt a healthy lifestyle. They should join gym and burn calories which they got by just eating and sitting idle. People should do regular exercise, running. People can set goals to reduce their body fat and challenge their friends that who will do it earlier. People need to be more attentive toward their health as a obesed person is more prone to diseases than a healthy person. In conclusion, I think people should adopt healthy lifestyle and say no to unhealthy food. They should be more concerned about their health as 'health is wealth'.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
consume junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them unhealthy and results in increased weight. Obesity is becoming a worldwide pandemic. The various ways to deal with this problem will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

Apparently
, In
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
, the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to eat outside in hotels
instead
of cooking and eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home. Social media has
also
influenced this thing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their friends, relatives and their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
actors uploads picture of eating out junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like pizza, burger, sandwich and this led to craving in person who is watching these types of posts and then to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel jealous. They
also
go out and eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and uploads images with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
hashtags. In most families both husband and wife are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home exhausted by their office
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
either go out for dinner or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
delivered. Internet has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
when we open
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
or other application in our phone there are tons of advertisements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
zomato
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dominoes", the plural form of the noun 'domino'?
dominos
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kfc
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are becoming unhealthy and unfit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to tackle this problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
home made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. They should rely on fruits and vegetables.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
gym and burn calories which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
eating and sitting idle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should do regular exercise, running.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can set goals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and challenge their friends that who will do it earlier.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
People
need to be more attentive toward their health as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesed
person is more prone to diseases than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
person.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle and say no to unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. They should be more concerned about their health as 'health is wealth'.

IELTS essay Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
324 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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