Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Obesity has been linked to excessive sugar consumption. Some people believe that sugary drinks should be taxed to dissuade people from drinking them while others think that a tax is unnecessary and that public education is the best way to decrease sugar c

Obesity has been linked to excessive sugar consumption. Some people believe that sugary drinks should be taxed to dissuade people from drinking them while others think that a tax is unnecessary and that public education is the best way to decrease sugar c wBmj3
In the last years, obesity has significantly increased due to enormous amounts of sugar consumption. Some people are convinced that, in order to avoid this situation, sugary drink prices should rise, while others maintain that the real issue is public education. This essay will discuss the reasons why public education should be the main concern in order to fight obesity. To begin with, sugary drinks have become more popular for families with young children and also for adolescents. These drinks were made part of the common diet, which turned into a consumption habit. Therefore, the only way to change a bad habit, is through education. Governments should incorporate health habits teaching at school, as well as, in local communities. As a result, people would develop the ability to recognize the consequences of their alimentation choices. On the other hand, some people believe that adding a tax to drinks with sugar will discourage customers to buy them due to the high price. This solution has been tried before in Australia, for example. In Australia, taxes have been added to alcohol in order to decrease its consumption, but it didn't work. It is evident, that people don't react to the price, when buying something they really want. Sugary drinks and alcohol have in common, that both are addictive, so, the price would not stop people from acquiring them. To sum up, the inclusion of sugary drinks in our daily diet has become more popular and it has been also linked with an increase in cases of obesity. Although some people believe that the solution is to rise prices, others think that education plays a key role. In my opinion, education is the most important factor to determine whether someone would choose to buy a sugary drink, while being aware of its consequences.
In the last years, obesity has
significantly
increased due to enormous amounts of sugar consumption.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convinced
that, in order to avoid this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
should rise, while others maintain that the real issue is public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This essay will discuss the reasons why public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be the main concern in order to fight obesity.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
have become more popular for families with young children and
also
for adolescents. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
were made
part of the common diet, which turned into a consumption habit.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit, is through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should incorporate health habits teaching at school,
as well
as, in local communities.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would develop the ability to recognize the consequences of their alimentation choices.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that adding a tax to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
with sugar will discourage customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them due to the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. This solution has
been tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
in Australia,
for example
. In Australia, taxes have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to alcohol in order to decrease its consumption,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it didn't work. It is evident, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't react to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, when buying something they
really
want.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
and alcohol have in common, that both are addictive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from acquiring them.

To sum up, the inclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
in our daily diet has become more popular and it has been
also
linked with an increase in cases of obesity. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the solution is to rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a key role. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to determine whether someone would choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
, while being aware of its consequences.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Obesity has been linked to excessive sugar consumption. Some people believe that sugary drinks should be taxed to dissuade people from drinking them while others think that a tax is unnecessary and that public education is the best way to decrease sugar c

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Obesity has been linked to excessive sugar consumption. Some people believe that sugary drinks should be taxed to dissuade people from drinking them while others think that a tax is unnecessary and that public education is the best way to decrease sugar c