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Nowadays，many young people in work force change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays society, some young people make the decision to change their jobs or careers as easily as the make the decision to change a new garment. In my opinion, this situation does more harm than good. Modern and fast-paced life in the era of science and technology accelerates all processes. The timely feedback function brought by electronic devices stimulates people’s cerebral cortex and makes people indulge in fresh things. Therefore, it is hard for people to accept the unchanged work and life anymore, which is the reason why young people change their jobs frequently. There are many disadvantages to this frequent quitting. The first is that life is constantly in a state of instability, people can not predict whether the next job will be a better fit for themselves than the previous one, especially when it comes to unexpected situations. For example, due to the Covid-19 epidemic in 2020 caused a nationwide outage, which left many young people who quit their jobs unable to find new jobs. The second disadvantage is that frequent job-hopping will make it difficult for people to make achievements in a certain field, because it is hard to concentrate on the job and his attention is too scattered. Certainly, changing jobs also has benefits, people have a chance to experience different jobs or even different lifestyles. Nonetheless, there are many ways to experience different lives, people can choose to travel, try things they have not done before, and those are also good choices. To sum up, although young people seek for freshness and excitement, a stable job is still important, especially in terms of life security and self-improvement.
Nowadays society,
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some
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young
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people
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make
the decision to
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change
their
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jobs
or careers as
easily
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a new garment. In my opinion, this situation does more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Modern and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the era of science and technology accelerates all processes. The timely feedback function brought by electronic devices stimulates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
cerebral cortex and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
indulge in fresh things.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to accept the unchanged work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
anymore, which is the reason why
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
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jobs
frequently
.

There are
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many
disadvantages to this frequent quitting. The
first
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
constantly
in a state of instability,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not predict whether the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will be a better fit for themselves than the previous one,
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to unexpected situations.
For example
, due to the Covid-19 epidemic in 2020 caused a nationwide outage, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who quit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
unable to find new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The second disadvantage is that frequent job-hopping will
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make
it difficult for
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people
to
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make
achievements in a certain field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to concentrate on the
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job
and his attention is too scattered.

Certainly
, changing
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jobs
also
has benefits,
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people
have a chance to experience
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different
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jobs
or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyles. Nonetheless, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
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people
can choose to travel, try things they have not done
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before
, and those are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choices.

To sum up, although
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek for freshness and excitement, a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
especially
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
security and self-improvement.
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IELTS essay Nowadays，many young people in work force change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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