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Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances online and there is no need to watch them live. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances online and there is no need to watch them live. wBr2d
People have got an awesome opportunity such as access to different performances right from their homes these days. And some of them believe that there is no need in live shows. Personally, I think that the possibilities we got today is very convenient, however we shouldn’t forget that offline experience is essential as well. To start with, it is known that online activities are much easier for us to participate in. But, to be honest, if we are talking about concert or festival it won’t give us the exact same energy as we could have got from a live performance. That atmosphere is charming, and it trills you. You can feel yourself at the right place and in the right time. These feelings are unforgettable. Another reason is meeting new people. This aspect is highly important as far as humans are social creatures. Besides that, you don’t communicate with some random people, but you may find a good friend for yourself. Because, you already got common interests and that is wonderful. Eventually, this kind of activity is perfect place to find great people. To sum up, I am truly thankful for all abilities that became available due to technological improvements. It is highly useful, especially now during the pandemic. Although, it is impossible now to hold live performances, lots of people believe that it will change soon. This whole situation showed us how crucial real offline connection is. And what impact it has got on humans lives. So there is a need in live shows.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
an awesome opportunity such as access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
performances right from their homes these days. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them believe that there is no need in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the possibilities we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient,
however
we shouldn’t forget that offline experience is essential
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it
is known
that online activities are much easier for us to participate in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, to be honest, if we are talking about concert or festival it won’t give us the exact same energy as we could have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
performance. That atmosphere is charming, and it trills you. You can feel yourself at the right place and in the right time. These feelings are unforgettable.

Another reason is meeting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This aspect is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as far as humans are social creatures.
Besides
that, you don’t communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
random
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you may find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friend for yourself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, you already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
common interests and
that is
wonderful.
Eventually
, this kind of activity is perfect place to find great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, I am
truly
thankful for all abilities that became available due to technological improvements. It is
highly
useful,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
during the pandemic. Although, it is impossible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
performances, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. This whole situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
us how crucial real offline connection is. And what impact it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
on humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is a need in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances online and there is no need to watch them live.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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