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Nowadays, trend of working abroad has been increasing for some last year's. Discuss the advantage overweight than disadvantage?

Nowadays, trend of working abroad has been increasing for some last year's. Discuss the advantage overweight than disadvantage? EdRWq
It's true that in this era, majority of the people were going abroad for working for some last year's. This explains more merits than demerits. To initial, most of the people go abroad just due to brain drain. Migration of skilled brain to another country is known as brain drain. And put bad impact on our nation. If all the skilled masses go abroad than their will be no future of our country because all the future of the country fully depend on this new generation. thus, these are demerits. However, here are some merits of working abroad. First and foremost reason is that a person can explore that country as well as their tradition, their method of teaching, learn their behaviour. Moreover, foreign countries have less pollution and also crime free environment. Any individual can freely go on walk or for a work at any time wether it is day or night time. Probing further, in future here are more job opportunities and income. If a student go abroad for study then he or she can also do job to fulfil their basic needs and fees side by side study. And students learn how to be independent without parents. Hence, these are the merits of this. In conclusion, working abroad have both disadvantages and more advantages for the learners. Students learn how to live alone in another country without their parents.
It's true that in this era, majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
last year's. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
more merits than demerits.

To initial, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
due to brain drain. Migration of skilled brain to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is known
as brain drain. And put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on our nation. If all the skilled masses go
Use "(abroad)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
abroad
than their will be no future of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
fully
depend on this new generation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
, these are demerits.

However
, here are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
First
and foremost reason is that a person can explore that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
as their tradition, their method of teaching, learn their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Moreover
, foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have less pollution and
also
crime free environment. Any individual can
freely
go on walk or for a work at any time
Possible spelling mistake found.
wether
it is day or
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
. Probing
further
, in future here are more job opportunities and income. If a student go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for study then he or she can
also
do job to fulfil their basic needs and fees side by side study. And students learn how to be independent without parents.
Hence
, these are the merits of this.

In conclusion
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
have both disadvantages and more advantages for the learners. Students learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without their parents.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, trend of working abroad has been increasing for some last year's. Discuss the advantage overweight than disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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