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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening). Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

From my point of view, this development has more benefits, although it has some drawbacks to a certain extent. It is true that the technology of monitoring people would violate the privacy of individuals. Citizens have no private room and can't keep their secrets, which would undermine the quality of their daily life significantly. No matter where they go and who they meet, all of them are exposed under the monitoring of others. Furthermore, some people are even unaware of that they are under monitoring. It renders some outlaws take advantage of these technologies and then commit some serious crime to the innocent people, for example, tracking, committing fraud, even murdering. People are placed in a very passive position because they don't know they are monitored by the state of the art devices. Despite the argument above, the monitoring technology can lead to the positive result as long as we can oversee and control it properly. It can be used to monitor some sensitive locations with high crime rate by our police. There are many instances in our real life that real-time monitoring can help police to prevent crime from happening as they can monitor some specific spots all the time. For instance, once suspects show up under the camera, the police can take prompt action to bust them in advance so that no one gets hurt during the action. Nevertheless, making good use of the monitoring technology has to ensure all of them are under control of our authority rather than criminals. To sum up, although this development has some potential drawbacks like being used by criminal to commit crimes and violate the privacy of individuals, we can make use of it to help us to prevent crime from happening as long as we ensure all of them are under our control
From my point of view, this development has more benefits, although it has
some
drawbacks to a certain extent.

It is true that the
technology
of
monitoring
people
would violate the privacy of individuals. Citizens have no private room and can't
keep
their secrets, which would undermine the quality of their daily life
significantly
. No matter where they go and who they
meet
, all of them
are exposed
under the
monitoring
of others.
Furthermore
,
some
people
are even unaware of that they are under
monitoring
. It renders
some
outlaws take advantage of these
technologies
and then commit
some
serious
crime
to the innocent
people
,
for example
, tracking, committing fraud, even murdering.
People
are placed
in a
very
passive position
because
they don't know they
are monitored
by the
state of the art
devices.

Despite the argument above, the
monitoring
technology
can lead to the
positive
result as long as we can oversee and control it
properly
. It can be
used
to monitor
some
sensitive locations with high
crime
rate by our police. There are
many
instances in our real life that real-time
monitoring
can
help
police to
prevent
crime
from happening as they can monitor
some
specific spots all the time.
For instance
, once suspects
show
up under the camera, the police can take prompt action to bust them in advance
so
that no one
gets
hurt during the action.
Nevertheless
, making
good
use
of the
monitoring
technology
has to
ensure all of them are under control of our authority
rather
than criminals.

To sum up, although this development has
some
potential drawbacks like being
used
by criminal to commit
crimes
and violate the privacy of individuals, we can
make
use
of it to
help
us to
prevent
crime
from happening as long as we ensure all of them are under our control
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening). Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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