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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Some people reckon that listening to modern music can influence young people in a negative way whereas others hold a belief that music contains positive impact. In the following paragraphs, both of these views will be discussed before the conclusion is reached. It is absolutely undeniable that music has changed dramatically over the past decades and constantly appear with new genres of music, such as rap, hip hop, or R&B, which is noticeably seen that these types of music did not exist during the old generations. Therefore, older people seem to believe that modern music can damage the young’s lives due to harmful lyrics, awful definitions, and violence related. They feel that current trendy music often deals with dangerous issues, which can influence their fans to express the same feelings or perform the same actions. To illustrate, a young boy who likes to listen to hip hop songs that contain a variety of harmful vocabulary and definitions uses these words with his peers which created a fight in school, therefore modern music can influence children in the wrong way without parents’ control. On the other hand, modern music does not always contain negative effects. It is believed that music can represent people’s identity through the definitions, assist some people from emotional support, and improve social connections. Nowadays, music is counted as one positive way to improve social skills by sharing some interest in music with others. In addition, when people feel the need for relaxation, they often face away from reality and turn on some music to release the stress. In my opinion, I opine that modern music has its advantages and disadvantages for young people. Therefore, I think that we need to choose music wisely that has positive effects on our lives. In conclusion, although some may argue that modern music can damage the young’s lives due to violence influences, I believe that the profit of modern music outweighs the drawbacks because it can bring people around the world together by sharing the same interest in music.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
reckon that listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
young

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people
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way whereas others hold a belief that
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music
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact. In the following paragraphs, both of these views will
be discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the conclusion
is reached
.

It is
absolutely
undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
over the past

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
decades
and
constantly
appear with new genres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, such as rap, hip hop, or R&B, which is
noticeably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
did not exist during the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generations.
Therefore
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can damage the young’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to harmful lyrics, awful definitions, and violence related. They feel that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deals with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
issues, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
their fans to express the same feelings or perform the same actions. To illustrate, a young boy who likes to listen to hip hop songs that contain a variety of harmful vocabulary and definitions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
these words with his peers which created a fight in school,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
children in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way without parents’ control.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not always contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can represent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
identity through the definitions, assist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from emotional support, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social connections. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is counted
as one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with others.
In addition
, when
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people
feel the need for relaxation, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
face away from reality and turn on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to release the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In my opinion, I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has its advantages and disadvantages for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we need to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
wisely
that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can damage the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
young
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
, I believe that the profit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
outweighs the drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world together by sharing the same interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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