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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? QL7Mx
Cellphone is more prevalent nowadays. As a consequence of that, some people claim that there should be a scanning system for tracking and filtering all online contexts, so people can be more careful to what they doing. However, these can lead to many drawbacks such as stealing personal information and depression. In the following paragraph, both advantages and disadvantages will be discussed before the conclusion is reached. Having this detecting system can be useful in case we encounter with online harassment and threat. This because it can be a significant evidence to depict bad people and show your real sincerity. Moreover, the system can make people aware to what they say and chat; therefore they will think deeper before they decide to text something. On the other hand, tracking technology can sometimes interrupt our private area due to the fact that not all informations are available for public such as our personal information, which are confidential. Because of advance technology, this can be easily stolen by spammer. Therefore, it will lead a noticeable drawbacks in many serious ways. Furthermore, this can also lead tom depression. When people notice that there is a monitoring system, they tend to be more worried and think their action might be wrong. In addition, they will be more concern when they see the real spammer is arrested. In summary, having this advance technology system can lead to many impacts due to individual aspects. Although it helps people show their kind intention, it can lead to various drawbacks which I find they outweigh the benefits.
Cellphone is more prevalent nowadays. As a consequence of that,
some
people
claim that there should be a scanning
system
for tracking and filtering all online contexts,
so
people
can be more careful to what
they doing
.
However
, these can
lead
to
many
drawbacks such as stealing personal information and depression. In the following paragraph, both advantages and disadvantages will
be discussed
before
the conclusion
is reached
.

Having this detecting
system
can be useful in case we encounter with online harassment and threat. This
because
it can be a significant evidence to depict
bad
people
and
show
your real sincerity.
Moreover
, the
system
can
make
people
aware to what they say and chat;
therefore
they will
think
deeper
before
they decide to text something.

On the other hand
, tracking technology can
sometimes
interrupt our private area due to the fact that not all
informations
are available for public such as our personal information, which are confidential.
Because
of advance technology, this can be
easily
stolen by spammer.
Therefore
, it will
lead
a noticeable
drawbacks
in
many
serious ways.
Furthermore
, this can
also
lead
tom depression. When
people
notice that there is a monitoring
system
, they tend to be more worried and
think
their action might be
wrong
.
In addition
, they will be more concern when they
see
the real spammer
is arrested
.

In summary, having this advance technology
system
can
lead
to
many
impacts due to individual aspects. Although it
helps
people
show
their kind intention, it can
lead
to various drawbacks which I find they outweigh the benefits.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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