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children are allowed for technological tools should be controlled by their parents for two reasons.

children are allowed for technological tools should be controlled by their parents for two reasons. YLEmV
Nowadays, there has been a heated debate about whether parents ought to restrain the time allocated to electronic devices by children or not. The issue is important since consequences of the determining which side is reasonable influence the future of the children. From the point of my view, it is better that the amount of time that children are allowed for technological tools should be controlled by their parents for two reasons. Parents admittedly should direct their children in terms of determining to what extent they can use electronic devices because individuals who are at early young ages do not have enough knowledge to decide it by themselves. Children are not capable of understanding of control how much time they should allocate to electronic devices. Since they have not experienced the adverse results of overusing of technological devices many times, it is not easy to limit their valuable time during they enjoy. On the other hand, parents either know the potential detrimental consequences from their past experiences or learn from reliable information sources. That is to say, these parents have rights and ought to direct their children in that regard. Additionally, children should be constrained in order to be developed their time management skills in terms of electronical tools by their parents. The skill which is not be born with can be learned and improved through enormous channels, and, in fact, parents are one of them. Parents can teach children pertaining to how their precious time should be used in an effective way by explaining potential threats of wastefully using it while they are using their phones, tablets or computers. For instance, parents can put limit the time as two hours per day so that increasing awareness of their child regarding the significance of the time. Thus, children can wisely manage both the two hours and also remaining time. Ultimately, I feel that putting limit on the amount of time that children are permitted for electronic devices such as tablet, computers, and phones is correct one. I believe this because parents have enough information and experiences about potential results of inaccurate usage, time management.
Nowadays, there has been a heated debate about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to restrain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or not. The issue is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
since consequences of the determining which side is reasonable influence the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. From the point of my view, it is better that the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for technological tools should
be controlled
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for two reasons.

Parents
admittedly
should direct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in terms of determining to what extent they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals who are at early young ages do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge to decide it by themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are not capable of understanding of control how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they should allocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. Since they have not experienced the adverse results of overusing of technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, it is not easy to limit their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during they enjoy.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
either know the potential detrimental
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "from". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences from
their
Consider using "experiences".
past experiences
or learn from reliable information sources.
That is
to say, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have rights and ought to direct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in that regard.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be constrained
in order to
be developed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in terms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
electronical
tools by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which is not
be born
with can
be learned
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
through enormous channels, and, in fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are one of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
pertaining to how their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
by explaining potential threats of
wastefully
using it while they are using their phones, tablets or computers.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can put limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as two hours per day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that increasing awareness of their child regarding the significance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
wisely
manage both the two hours and
also
remaining time.

Ultimately
, I feel that putting limit on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are permitted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as tablet, computers, and phones is correct one. I believe this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information and experiences about potential results of inaccurate usage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management.
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IELTS essay children are allowed for technological tools should be controlled by their parents for two reasons.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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