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Online shopping in our life

Online shopping in our life bYAOP
Nowadays virtual world is developing day by day so that online shopping also. There are advantages and disadvantages of doing shopping online for people. On one hand, today people are too busy because of their work and study so they have no any time to do shopping from the stores. So online shopping is the best choice for that. In addition to this, they don't wast their time, they just choose one of the product which they liked and pay it from click. And shipper will deliver their products as soon as possible. Secondly people can enjoy online shopping. For instance they can also observe lots of online shoppings and choose one of the best choice. Because there may be different costs in each shop. As a result they can buy luxury dress or anything else which they saw in their store which is near to their home can buy cheaper. On the other hand, there are also disadvantages. The main drawbacks of online shopping is that people can't see the products quality. For this reason it may be in poor condition. So that they don't use it and throw out. To sum up, I think its benefits are much more important rather than drawbacks.
Nowadays virtual world is developing day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
also
. There are advantages and disadvantages of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are too busy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their work and study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from the stores.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the best choice for that.
In addition
to this, they don't wast their time, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
choose one of the product which they liked and pay it from click. And shipper will deliver their products as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "instance, they".
instance they
can
also
observe lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoppings
and choose one of the best choice.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
costs in each shop.
As a result
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
luxury dress or anything else which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
in their store which is near to their home can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cheaper.

On the other hand
, there are
also
disadvantages. The main drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the products quality.
For this reason
it may be in poor condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and throw out.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
its benefits are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rather
than drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Online shopping in our life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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