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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Over the last few years, advances in technology have allowed governments, the police and privately-owned companies to keep the public under constant surveillance. Is this, however, a development we should welcome? Certainly, there are benefits. Recording private information of public can prevent a lot of crimes. Security cameras can decrease amount of crimes: if criminals see them, they may think twice about stealing a car and breaking into a building. If a crime is carried out, then recorded videos may provide useful evidence for the police. For instance, in the 2010s the rate of terrorist acts was significantly decreased in Russia due to recorded logs and personal information. On the other hand, there are a number of concerns. In countries where human rights are ignored, the use of street cameras and listening devices me be harmful for society. People should be able to hold meetings and express their opinions without their privacy being broken. For example, according to the American survey of 2019, the fear of being tracked and listened has decreased trust of people in the government and the police that increased discontent among citizens. To sum up, I believe that even though privacy is affected due to the overuse of these technologies, the benefits are more, as it is useful in the reduction of crimes and helps the countries in combating terrorism.
Over the last few years, advances in technology have
allowed
governments
, the police and
privately
-
owned
companies
to
keep
the public under constant surveillance. Is this,
however
, a development we should welcome?

Certainly
, there are benefits. Recording private information of public can
prevent
a lot of
crimes
. Security cameras can decrease amount of
crimes
: if criminals
see
them, they may
think
twice about stealing a car and breaking into a building. If a
crime
is carried
out, then recorded videos may provide useful evidence for the police.
For instance
, in the 2010s the rate of terrorist acts was
significantly
decreased in Russia due to recorded logs and personal information.

On the other hand
, there are a number of concerns. In countries where human rights are
ignored
, the
use
of street cameras and listening devices me be harmful for society.
People
should be able to hold meetings and express their opinions without their privacy
being broken
.
For example
, according to the American survey of 2019, the fear of being
tracked
and listened has decreased trust of
people
in the
government
and the police that increased discontent among citizens.

To sum up, I believe that
even though
privacy is
affected
due to the overuse of these technologies, the benefits are more, as it is useful in the reduction of
crimes
and
helps
the countries in combating terrorism.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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