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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people feel that religious festivals are becoming meaningless with most people only wanting to enjoy themselves. Whereas I agree that enjoyment seems to be the priority during festival times, I don’t think that people have forgotten their meaning. On the one hand, religious and traditional festivals have certainly become times for celebration. In Saudi Arabia, for example, people celebrate Eid Al feter in a grand manner by wearing new clothes, giving and receiving presents, watching firework displays and preparing traditional foods which give them more delight. On the other hand, the argument that people have forgotten the meaning of festivals is meaningless. In primary schools, children are learning the reasons for celebrating festivals such as Eid Al Fete and Eid El Adha'a in their text books. In addition, Families also play a role in passing knowledge of religious festivals’ deeper significance on to the next generation. In conclusion, even in this fast paced modern world, people are still celebrating their religious festivals with full of enthusiasm and joyfulness. Just because they are celebrating it does not mean that they have forgotten the values and messages of these festivals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are becoming meaningless with most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wanting to enjoy themselves. Whereas I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that enjoyment seems to be the priority during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
times, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten their meaning.

On the one hand,
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religious
and traditional
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festivals
have
certainly
become times for celebration. In Saudi Arabia,
for example
,
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people
celebrate
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eid
Al
Possible spelling mistake found.
feter
in a grand manner by wearing new clothes, giving and receiving presents, watching firework displays and preparing traditional foods which give them more delight.

On the other hand
, the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten the meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
is meaningless. In primary schools, children are learning the reasons for celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eid
Al
‘Fete’ is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using “fête”
Fete
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eid
El
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adha
'a in their text books.
In addition
, Families
also
play a role in passing knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals’
deeper significance on to the
next
generation.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, even in this
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
fast paced
modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
celebrating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
with full of enthusiasm and joyfulness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are celebrating it does not mean that they have forgotten the values and messages of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
.
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IELTS essay Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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