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Nowadays, some people like to give help directly to communities that need it, whilst others prefer to give money to national or international organizations. Discuss both ways of providing help and give your opinion of which is better. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Nowadays, some people like to give help directly to communities that need it, whilst others prefer to give money to national or international organizations. jbyk8
In recent times, there has been a heated debate about different ways to do charity work. Some choose to help and support straight to the local community while others prefer to make donations to national or international charities. This essay will first discuss these mentioned ways then indicate that there’s no need to compare the two ways since in whichever way the help itself is the most significant thing. On the one hand, the one who focuses on a particular community has a better understanding of that area’s status then provides it with appropriate help. This is to say, individuals can provide different types of support apart from financial aid namely physical, psychological, …which depend on what the community urgently needs. As a consequence, he can control what is currently happening there and ensure his work has the best results. For example, in remote areas, poor families wish they can have enough warm clothes as well as school stationery for their kids. Therefore, it’s much better to collect jackets, coats, trousers, … as well as books, notebooks, pens…beforehand to give them to those families – They must be happy and grateful. On the other hand, international charities can help societies over long distances since there are still several countries in poverty around the globe. In other words, helping people from these countries requires a detailed plan and large-scale actions which is believed to only be done by big national or international organizations with strong financial capability. Furthermore, the organizations must be able to negotiate with the local government before starting doing their work. This can be illustrated by the work of the United Nations Foundation, a worldwide organization that has an important impact on raising living standards throughout the world, especially in Africa. Until 2016, United Nations Foundation has built schools and provided medical help for Africans, which has extraordinary changes: 70% of poor children can go to school free and measles death decreased by 85 percent, … In conclusion, whether some prefer to provide assistance to people in the local community, others choose to make donations helping on a broader scale, this essay suggests that both approaches are efficient in appropriate situations and the effort put into helping the one in need is still the most vital part.
In recent times, there has been a heated debate about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to do charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and support straight to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
while others prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
donations to national or international charities. This essay will
first
discuss these mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
then indicate that there’s no need to compare the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
since in whichever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
itself is the most significant thing.

On the one hand, the one who focuses on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
has a better understanding of that area’s status then provides it with appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. This is to say, individuals can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of support apart from financial aid
namely
physical, psychological, …which depend on what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
urgently
needs. As a consequence, he can control what is
currently
happening there and ensure his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has the best results.
For example
, in remote areas, poor families wish they can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
warm clothes
as well
as school stationery for their kids.
Therefore
, it’s much better to collect jackets, coats, trousers, …
as well
as books, notebooks, pens…beforehand to give them to those families
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be happy and grateful.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, international charities can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
societies over long distances since there are
still
several countries in poverty around the globe. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from these countries requires a detailed plan and large-scale actions which
is believed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be done
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
national or international organizations with strong financial capability.
Furthermore
, the organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be able to negotiate with the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This can
be illustrated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of the United Nations Foundation, a worldwide organization that has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
impact on raising living standards throughout the world,
especially
in Africa. Until 2016, United Nations Foundation has built schools and provided medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for Africans, which has extraordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
: 70% of poor children can go to school free and measles death decreased by 85 percent, …

In conclusion
, whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer to provide assistance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, others choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
donations helping on a broader scale, this essay suggests that both approaches are efficient in appropriate situations and the effort put into helping the one in need is
still
the most vital part.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, some people like to give help directly to communities that need it, whilst others prefer to give money to national or international organizations.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
379 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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