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Nowadays, some countries around the world have their most population as younger people as compared to with older pupils. I believe that, this has more benefits than drawbacks.

Nowadays, some countries around the world have their most population as younger people as compared to with older pupils. I believe that, this has more benefits than drawbacks. wOx7q
The country which has most of their population as younger generation than older one, have more economy. To explain it, in a country, where three fourth of the population are employed then Gross Domestic Product is higher. For example, a person who is working in a company and contributes to the economics of country as well rather than staying at home like old pupils. In this technological era, every country wants to be technical. At present time, most of the inventions are establish by new generation. For instance, Elon Musk has invented a marketing strategy. In which he will display ads in the universe because he is from new generation. Most of the invention is being done by younger people because older people cannot cope up with new world but expectations are always there. The cons of having older people population than younger are to spend a huge amount on the health care system. The older pupils can get more disease than new generation because of their body. For instance, if older people are contributing the most in whole population, then government will spend more money on their hospitals and health department. Thus, this will effect on the overall budget of the country and will collapse. In summary, I can clearly say the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages as well.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which has most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
as younger generation than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
one, have more economy. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, where three fourth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are employed
then Gross Domestic Product is higher.
For example
, a person who is working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and contributes to the economics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
rather
than staying at home like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
pupils.

In this technological era, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
wants to be technical. At present time, most of the inventions are
Consider using a past participle here: "established".
establish
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation.
For instance
, Elon Musk has invented a marketing strategy. In which he will display ads in the universe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation. Most of the invention is
being done
by younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot cope up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
expectations are always there.

The cons of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
than younger are to spend a huge amount on the health care system. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
pupils can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more disease than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their body.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are contributing the most in whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will spend more money on their hospitals and health department.
Thus
, this will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on the
overall
budget of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and will collapse.

In summary, I can
clearly
say the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages
as well
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, some countries around the world have their most population as younger people as compared to with older pupils. I believe that, this has more benefits than drawbacks.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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