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Nowadays people's life is changing rapidly and, as a result, family relotinship are effected. Do the advanteges of the outweigh the disadvantege? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience

In recent times, the rate at which the lives of individuals are changing is at a rapid rate and this has affected relationships in families. This essay will argue that the advantages of these changes outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will examine some of the major disadvantages such as lack of family time and isolation, then analyze the positives which are better quality of life and access to modern facilities, before giving my opinion. There are a number of reasons why families are experiencing changes nowadays. A major reason is the fact that member are moving to new locations for better opportunities. The aim is to increase earnings which would in turn improve the life of the person. For instance, there are people who have relocated to other parts of world for greener pastures and a better life. Furthermore, these new locations often provide access to modern facilities such as rail networks and new technological initiatives like the internet and modern healthcare system. However, there are several disadvantages that cause a strain in family relationships. The distance and busy lifestyle of most individuals who tend to move to new locations often make them isolated and most times unreachable. There are several barriers to communication such as time zone differences and the cost. For example, a resident of the United States who has family members in Nigeria will not be readily available to receive phone call due to the 6-hour difference in time. This could lead to homesickness due to little or no family time which has been known to cause depression and other psychological challenges. To conclude, it is clear that rapid changes in people’s lives cause sicknesses such as depression due to isolation. While there are some benefits such as access to improved facilities and earrings, I believe that family relationships should be valued above all.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the rate at which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of individuals are changing is at a rapid rate and this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
relationships in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This essay will argue that the advantages of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will examine
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
major disadvantages such as lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and isolation, then analyze the positives which are better quality of life and access to modern facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my opinion.

There are a number of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are experiencing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
nowadays. A major reason is the fact
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean: "that member is"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that member are
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
locations for better opportunities. The aim is to increase earnings which would in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life of the person.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have relocated to other parts of world for greener pastures and a better life.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
locations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide access to modern facilities such as rail networks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technological initiatives like the internet and modern healthcare system.

However
, there are several disadvantages that cause a strain in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships. The distance and busy lifestyle of most individuals who tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
locations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them isolated and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
unreachable. There are several barriers to communication such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
zone differences and the cost.
For example
, a resident of the United States who has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members in Nigeria will not be
readily
available to receive phone call due to the 6-hour difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This could lead to homesickness due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which has
been known
to cause depression and other psychological challenges.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
cause sicknesses such as depression due to isolation. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits such as access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
facilities and earrings, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships should
be valued
above all
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people's life is changing rapidly and, as a result, family relotinship are effected. Do the advanteges of the outweigh the disadvantege? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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