Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on the children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on the children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? Deaj
It is generally acknowledged that the offsprings has been being pressurized by their parents, so that they can be successful. Increasing competition and over concern of parents are main factors behind this. This force only results in mental stress and failure, therefore, it is a negative trend. To begin with, the competition among every aspect of life has been clearly increasing day by day. Therefore, everyone wants their child to be more successful than others and force them to achieve higher goals. Instead of setting an interest based ambition, parents often compare kids with others and fix and unrealistic goal. To achieve this, students are often asked to do a lot of hard work forcefully. The another reason is the concern of elders regarding success of their loved ones. To ensure a bright future, tutees has been tortured by the adults to study more and to acquire a high wage job in future. Moving ahead, the force exerted, to do more hard work, do not always results better. What are the consequences of this action? Inspite of being offered a high quality work, pressurized students often end up with mental illness. Such students do not able to achieve higher goals, but also loose their ability and self-esteem to achieve marginal jobs. This leads to unsuccessful life of individuals. For example, a psychology research conducted by Oxford University showed that the learners, who often forced to study by others, were getting lower scores, compared to them who revise by their own. Hence, the results are opposite. To conclude, the force should not be exerted on students to do better. Instead of it, they must be encouraged to achieve goals. Although pressuring offsprings may bring better results in beginning, but will end up in issues like insomnia and depression only.
It is
generally
acknowledged that the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
has been
being pressurized
by their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can be successful. Increasing competition and over concern of parents are main factors behind this. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and failure,
therefore
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the competition among every aspect of life has been
clearly
increasing day by day.
Therefore
, everyone wants their child to be more successful than others and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
Instead
of setting an interest based ambition, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
compare kids with others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
and unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
asked to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
forcefully
. The another reason is the concern of elders regarding success of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. To ensure a bright future,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
has
been tortured
by the adults to study more and to acquire a high wage job
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Moving ahead, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
exerted, to do more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, do not always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
better. What are the consequences of this action?
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of
being offered
a high quality work, pressurized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with mental illness. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their ability and self-esteem to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
marginal jobs. This leads to unsuccessful life of individuals.
For example
, a psychology research conducted by Oxford University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the learners, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
forced to study by others, were getting lower scores, compared to them who revise by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
are opposite.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
should not
be exerted
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do better.
Instead
of it, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
. Although pressuring
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
may bring better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in beginning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in issues like insomnia and depression
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

IELTS essay Nowadays parents put too much pressure on the children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Nowadays parents put too much pressure on the children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?