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Nowadays parents give more freedom to their children than in the past.Is it a positive or negative development?

In recent days, parents are giving more liberty to their offspring as compared to the past. In my opinion, l believe this is a good thing as it helps to build self confidence and independence in their lives. Granting more freedom boosts self confidence of each child. Most of the young ones are depending on their parents when they are in childhood days. If parents are providing more freedom on these days will help the children to explore new things from outside and start to believe in themselves.

In recent days, parents are giving more liberty to their offspring as compared to the past. In my opinion, l believe this is a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 thing as it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assists
helps
 to build self confidence and independence in their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
lives
. Granting more freedom boosts self confidence of each child. Most of the young ones are depending on their parents when they are in childhood days. If parents are providing more freedom on these days will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 the children to explore new things from outside and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiate
start
 to believe in themselves. 

IELTS essay Nowadays parents give more freedom to their children than in the past. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

88 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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