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NOWADAYS, PARENTS ARE GIVING MORE FREEDOM TO THEIR CHILDREN THAN PAST. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS IT POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

These days, children are getting more freedom from their parents compare to the past days. Everyone in this world need freedom to do their own thing. In this essay I shall outline the positive and negative side of growth. To begin with the positive development, in past, children were not allowed to go alone and to do their own thing. Parents were always there for them to guide and control what to do and not to do. Elders of the family used to decided when it comes to about family and children’s life, but now things are different than past. In addition to this, I can see that parents in present days are giving more freedom to their children to make them happy. Children are free to live their own life with own choices. For instance, they are free to choose their own dresses, eat favorite food and select whichever course they want to study or in whichever field they want to be succeeded. It teaches how to live independently, and they also obtain self-confidence. On the other hand, in all scenarios a negative side of development is also there. In addition to this, giving too much freedom may lead them to a wrong path and it will crush their future. When the children start to use their freedom in a wrong way, its leads them to the bad behavior like drinking, smoking and to extend they may end up in jail and spend their whole life by committing crime. Freedom is imperative in everyone’s life, specially when children using it in a right way. To conclude with, in my opinion, parents should provide freedom to their children with some control or condition. So that, children will obtain a good behavior and never go to the wrong path.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
compare to the past days. Everyone in this world need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thing. In this essay I shall outline the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of growth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development,
Did you mean: “in the past”?
in past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go alone and to do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
were always there for them to guide and control what to do and not to do. Elders of the family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to decided when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to about family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean ‘different “from”? ‘Different than’ is often considered colloquial style.
than
past.

In addition
to this, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in present days are giving more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices.
For instance
, they are free to choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dresses, eat favorite food and select whichever course they want to study or in whichever field they want to
be succeeded
. It teaches how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
, and they
also
obtain self-confidence.

On the other hand
, in all scenarios a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of development is
also
there.
In addition
to this, giving too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
may lead them to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
path and
it will crush their future. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way, its leads them to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior like drinking, smoking and to extend they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in jail and spend their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by committing crime.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Freedom
is imperative in everyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
specially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using it in a right way.

To conclude
with, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
control or condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will obtain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior and never go to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.
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IELTS essay NOWADAYS, PARENTS ARE GIVING MORE FREEDOM TO THEIR CHILDREN THAN PAST. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS IT POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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