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Nowadays more and more young people who is the important position in the government some people think that it is a good thing while other argue that it is not suitable discuss both the view and give your opinion

Nowadays more and more young people who is the important position in the government some people think that it is a good thing while other argue that it is not suitable discuss both the view and give your opinion VM37
In the present era, the difference between younger people and older people in work is a debatable topic. The youth achieves a valuable position in government. Few Citizens believe that it is a reasonable thing but the rest of the peoples have not accepted this opinion, they feel old aged peoples are more important. This essay will explain both the aspects and give my point of view in the following paragraphs. To starts with, there are plenty of beneficial reasons for youth employers. First and foremost, the younger generation has more knowledge about new technologies, which helps the authority to finish a task as soon as possible, which is the main factor of holding a top position in government. Furthermore, adults have more energy as compared to a senior citizen who complies to work in a faster way. For example, Japan is one of the most successful countries in the world, which hires only younger talent. In contrast, there are few things, which push that older peoples are needed in an important position. Firstly, older peoples carry the experience with them, and it is one of the most superior weapons for them. That will make work or task smooth so it will complete with accurately. Secondly, senior citizens control hard situation very easily. For example, the top position of any government is Prime Minister, that holds by older peoples. In my opinion, youth is more useful rather than old civilians. Because they come with new knowledge and energy. To conclude, the older peoples experience is important but not as much as new technology and aggression of youth.
In the present era, the difference between younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in work is a debatable topic. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
achieves a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Few Citizens believe that it is a reasonable thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
this opinion, they feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the aspects and give my point of view in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of beneficial reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
employers.
First
and foremost, the younger generation has more knowledge about new technologies, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the authority to finish a task as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, which is the main factor of holding a top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Furthermore
, adults have more energy as compared to a senior citizen who complies to work in a faster way.
For example
, Japan is one of the most successful countries in the world, which hires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
younger talent.

In contrast
, there are few things, which push that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are needed
in an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
carry the experience with them, and it is one of the most superior weapons for them. That will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
work or task smooth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will complete with
accurately
.
Secondly
, senior citizens control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
For example
, the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is Prime Minister, that holds by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
peoples.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is more useful
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
civilians.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with new knowledge and energy.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
experience is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as much as new technology and aggression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays more and more young people who is the important position in the government some people think that it is a good thing while other argue that it is not suitable discuss both the view and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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