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People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend? 1dqq
Housing to people has become the most important concerns of all time. Whereas, the trend of shifting places is now very common. This is mainly because of the Rent and Transportation. In this essay we will take a look on this factors in detail. Expenses on renting houses has become one of the major problems in the mordern world. This is because our dream house may not be affordable to us or in other words our salary won't meet the what we require. For example, it is not affordable to for a wage labourer to live in flat worth 5000 in cash and so they will move into cheaper cities to live in. Hence Rent is a common reason why people shift one city to other in a short span of time. Transportation to workplaces, schools etc. has also been into consideration inorder to save time. People find apartments closer to their place of job so that the daily drives would be much time saving. Taking an instance from recent days people tend to accomodate somewhere, where their office js just 5 minutes away. Therefore transportation has also played a role in the recent dwellings. in conclusion, city dwellers are a trend over few decades and tend to continue in forever. We have although discussed on these changes in this essay i would also like to raise my opinion on it as an negative trend as there will be no proper stability and humans will continue this for the rest of their existence.
Housing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
become the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
concerns of all time. Whereas, the trend of shifting places is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the Rent and Transportation. In this essay we will take a look on
Did you mean "these"?
this
factors in detail.

Expenses on renting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
has become one of the major problems in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mordern
world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
may not be affordable to us or
in other words
our salary won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the what we require.
For example
, it is not affordable to for a wage
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in flat worth 5000 in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cash and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into cheaper cities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
Rent is a common reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shift one city to other in a short span of time.

Transportation to workplaces, schools etc. has
also
been into consideration
Possible spelling mistake found.
inorder
to save time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
find apartments closer to their place of job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the daily drives would be much time saving. Taking an instance from recent days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodate
somewhere, where their office
Possible spelling mistake found.
js
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5 minutes away.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
transportation has
also
played a role in the recent dwellings.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, city dwellers are a trend over few decades and tend to continue in forever. We have although discussed on these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
would
also
like to raise my opinion on it as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend as there will be no proper stability and humans will continue this for the rest of their existence.
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IELTS essay People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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