Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays men's sports are given far more attention by society compared to women's sports.what are the reasons for that?Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Sports is a thing which important for all the people in the world and also developing strength of public. But presently, human beings given more support to male sports than female sports. This essay analyze the causes of this phenomenon and effect of it on the development. I, personally feel that it could have negative effects of the growth of society. To begin with, people think that women should work only at home as a housewife and grow their children. Hence, female could not living independently and can not earn money with themselves. Therefore, women can not get their fame in the society. Moreover, government give less opportunity to women sports and do not send to other countries for play tournament as well as show their talent. Thus, government think that only men sports get fame. Furthermore, many schools and colleges have not sports sector and no any sports subject for students. Hence, girls have not get sports training and do not take part in any sports game. To addition to it, some parents responsible for this because of they believe that girls do not play better sport than boys and they teach only house work for their future after marriage. Therefore, girls can not get chance for participate in sports. This reasons are given some negative effects on the growth of society. First of all, this effect on sports quota of their country that country's women sports are extinct and do not get value among all the countries in women's sports. Second, is that growth of women have been decreasing in the society or the world level. To recapitulate, government and all the people should give support to women's sports for economically growth of their country as well as schools and colleges should provide sports facilities to all the students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
is a thing which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world and
also
developing strength of public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
presently
, human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more support to male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
than female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This essay
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “analyzes”.
analyze
the causes of this phenomenon and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of it on the development. I,
personally
feel that it could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at home as a housewife and grow their children.
Hence
, female could not
The modal verb ‘could’ requires the verb’s base form.
living
independently
and can not earn money with themselves.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their fame in the society.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
give less opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for play tournament
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fame.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools and colleges have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sector and
Did you mean “now” (=at this moment) instead of ‘no’ (negation)?
no
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
subject for students.
Hence
, girls have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: “got”, “gotten”.
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
training and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
game.
Did you mean “in”?
To
addition to it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents responsible for this
Probable usage error. Use “because they” instead.
because of they
believe that girls do not play better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
than
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
boys and
they teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The word “housework” is normally spelled as one word.
house work
for their future after marriage.
Therefore
, girls can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance for participate in sports.

‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘reasons’. Did you mean “these”?
This
reasons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of society.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
quota of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are extinct and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
value among all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Second, is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have been decreasing in the society or the world level.

To recapitulate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should give support to women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for
economically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
as schools and colleges should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities to all the students.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays men's sports are given far more attention by society compared to women's sports. what are the reasons for that? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts