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Nowadays many researchers are being sponsored by private organizations. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many researchers are being sponsored by private organizations. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? NxJW
Scientific findings Play a prominent role in the modern world and the existence of private companies in this section is increasing. Although there are a number of benefits to accepting this I believe the drawbacks involved are more. On the plus side, there are some micro-level financial benefits to societies. To begin with, these researches had been often costly, so governments had to allocate large amounts of their budget to it. While this money could be invested where there was a greater need if private companies bear the financial burden of scientific studies. Take space research, which costs a lot of money each year, as an example. This cost can be employed to solve the other important problems of society when these researches delegate to private sectors. Furthermore, the salary packages offered by large companies to scientists are attractive enough to motivate youngsters to join these projects. Before, they were paid less by governments. However, this participation has its own difficulties. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with the result of fundings. That is, it seems that these results can be changed in favor of a particular group. For example, in the field of medicine, there is a possibility that a firm does not reveal the side effects of a drug because of the bulk amount of money they earn from selling that drug. Moreover, they have the ability to invest in some products before publishing the results and make more money than others. To sum up, regardless to benefit, I think the corruption that forms behind this matter is likely to put society in jeopardy and its impact will be reflected in the future.
Scientific findings Play a prominent role in the modern world and the existence of private
companies
in this section is increasing.
Although
there are a number of benefits to accepting this I believe the drawbacks involved are more.

On the plus side, there are
some
micro-level financial benefits to societies. To
begin
with, these researches had been
often
costly,
so
governments
had to allocate large amounts of their budget to it. While this
money
could
be invested
where there was a greater need if private
companies
bear the financial burden of scientific studies. Take space research, which costs
a lot of
money
each year, as an example. This cost can
be employed
to solve the other
important
problems of society when these researches delegate to private sectors.
Furthermore
, the salary packages offered by large
companies
to scientists are attractive
enough
to motivate youngsters to
join
these projects.
Before
, they
were paid
less by
governments
.

However
, this participation has its
own
difficulties. The most axiomatic argument
is concerned
with the result of
fundings
.
That is
, it seems that these results can be
changed
in favor of a particular group.
For example
, in the field of medicine, there is a possibility that a firm does not reveal the side effects of a drug
because
of the bulk amount of
money
they earn from selling that drug.
Moreover
, they have the ability to invest in
some
products
before
publishing the results and
make
more
money
than others.

To sum up, regardless to benefit, I
think
the corruption that forms behind this matter is likely to put society in jeopardy and its impact will
be reflected
in the future.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many researchers are being sponsored by private organizations. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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