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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind,such as reading and doing word puzzle.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzle. 1wRW
On the one hand, most of people prefer to read different types of books, stories in their free time as it does not only increase concentration in their work but also develop imagination power. moreover, individual can gain knowledge and information which develop to think quickly and sharpen their mind. For example, a survey which has been done by times of India 40% employees has hobbies of reading and puzzle the word. Because through reading thy improve work-Productivity in their company.
On the one hand, most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of books, stories in their free time as it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase concentration in their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop imagination power.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, individual can gain knowledge and information which develop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
quickly
and sharpen their mind.
For example
, a survey which has
been done
by times of India 40% employees has hobbies of reading and puzzle the word.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
through reading thy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
work-Productivity in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzle.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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