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Nowadays many people want to buy famous brand of clothes,cars and other items. What are the reasons of this? Do you think it is positive or negative development.

Nowadays many people want to buy famous brand of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons of this? Do you think it is positive or negative development. 9LLd0
Beyond doubt, most individuals in this days try to purchase fashionable clothes, modern cars and other luxury items. Personally, I do believe that it is only waste of money. In this essay, I will demonstrate the reasons of this phenomenon before a proper conclusion is drawn. To begin with, there are some possible reasons why people picking up high brand stuffs. First of all, 21st centry known to public as modern technological era, so everyone has a connection to social media as well as to network. To give a better idea, while searching online individuals can faced with so many different announcements, which encourage residents to buy it. For example, as we all know there is a common using website named Ali-Express and it is really popular in every country. Secondly, most people has already started pay attention to fashion. To exemplify, some sections of society, want to show their social status in their area by wearing trendy clothes and driving popular models of cars. As everything has own disadvantages, this development has also a few negative sides. Firstly, the more increasing the number of people wearing top brand clothes, the more growng number of people, who has difficulties with monetary side. Because, all these elements are in high cost. Secondly, in some cases it would affect the environment. To give an example, there are lots of companies that produces non recycle plastics and people throw them at streets. In conclusion, after discussing aforementioned ideas now we can point out that individuals tryt to show off their luxury goods to society for respect. From my point of view, it is defenitely negative development, since all their activities have detrimental impact on people and society.
Beyond doubt, most individuals in
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
fashionable clothes, modern cars and other luxury items.
Personally
, I do believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
waste of money. In this essay, I will demonstrate the reasons of this phenomenon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a proper conclusion
is drawn
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
picking up high brand stuffs.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, 21st
Possible spelling mistake found.
centry
known to public as modern technological era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone has a connection to social media
as well
as to network. To give a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, while searching online individuals can faced with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
announcements, which encourage residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
For example
, as we all know there is a common using website named Ali-Express and it is
really
popular in every country.
Secondly
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
pay attention to fashion. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sections of society, want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their social status in their area by wearing trendy clothes and driving popular models of cars.

As everything has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages, this development has
also
a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides.
Firstly
, the more increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wearing top brand clothes, the more
Possible spelling mistake found.
growng
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who has difficulties with monetary side.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, all these elements are in high cost.
Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases it would affect the environment. To give an example, there are lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that produces non recycle plastics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throw them at streets.

In conclusion
, after discussing aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can point out that individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
tryt
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to society for respect. From my point of view, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
defenitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, since all their activities have detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and society.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people want to buy famous brand of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons of this? Do you think it is positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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