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Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. Ya8d
These days some people goes to abroad in their holidays for their enjoyment while other thinks that they makes a bad impact on the country where they go to travel. I am totally disagreed with second statement, by travelling to other nation we can discover more places. Firstly, tourism helps the countries to generate a good source of income and through this we get currencies of different countries. Tourism attracts the people of different countries to discover new places. For example, in India there are many places to visit like India gate, Statue of unity and Taj Mahal, etc which shows the history and tradition of India. However, by travelling to other countries people do fun and be happy by visiting new places. Traveling leads people to interact other people of different countries through this it helps to make new friends and know more about other cultures and traditions. For instance, when we go to other country we can easily get our food. If anyone from India goes to other nation he/she can get Indian food. To conclude, traveling is good, people must travel abroad for their enjoyment and this makes a good relation between countries.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "goes abroad"?
goes to abroad
in their holidays for their enjoyment while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "make"
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where they go to travel. I am
totally
disagreed with second statement, by travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation we can discover more places.

Firstly
, tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to generate a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of income and through this we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
currencies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Tourism attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to discover new places.
For example
, in India there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places to visit like India gate, Statue of unity and Taj Mahal, etc which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the history and tradition of India.

However
, by travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do fun and be happy by visiting new places. Traveling leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through this it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and traditions.
For instance
, when we go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
our food.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
anyone from India goes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation he/she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Indian food.

To conclude
, traveling is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
travel abroad for their enjoyment and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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