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Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure.Some believe this travel has negative impact on the countries travel to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has negative impact on the countries travel to. 2X6b
At the present days, plethora of individuals travel to other nations to seek fun and relaxation. However, other people often argued that is creates a negative impact to its local state. I completely disagree with this statement and totally think that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages because of these two main reasons. First of all, It helps the progression in its country's economy. When foreigner visit to a certain place they will bring money, so basically it aids the forex exchange in the country. It also boosts its tourism industry generating a great amount of jobs. For instance, Many resorts, hotels, entertainment sites and others are booming because of these trend thus it creates tremendous occupational opportunities to local citizens that can help sustain their daily needs and wants. Secondly, It is also vital to showcase what a country has to offer and the foreign people influence to local individuals. For example, its history and cultures. It will be beneficial for foreign people to explore and experience rare things and exotic foods in different nations that cannot be compared to their own country. And also for the local residents, interacting with foreign people helps them to think outside the box and encourage them to do better. In conclusion foreigners travelling to foreign countries are both beneficial to foreigners themselves and the country to travel to and also it outweighs it negative outcomes because its helps improve its domestic economy and it create a sense of camaraderie in both parties.
At the present days, plethora of individuals travel to other nations to seek fun and relaxation.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued
that is
creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
state. I completely disagree with this statement and
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these two main reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the progression in its country's economy. When foreigner visit to a certain place they will bring money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
basically
it aids the forex exchange in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It
also
boosts its tourism industry generating a great amount of jobs.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
resorts, hotels, entertainment sites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are booming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these trend
thus
it creates tremendous occupational opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
sustain their daily needs and wants.

Secondly
, It is
also
vital to showcase what a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
individuals.
For example
, its history and cultures. It will be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore and experience rare things and exotic foods in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations that cannot
be compared
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. And
also
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents, interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
outside the box and encourage them to do better.
In conclusion
foreigners travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are both beneficial to foreigners themselves and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to travel to and
also
it outweighs it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its domestic economy and it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
a sense of camaraderie in both parties.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has negative impact on the countries travel to.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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