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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games jRoNa
Three days to play video game in computer is becoming more famous in a number of children. The purpose of this essay Will discuss the negative effects which is related and to present some solutions to fixed this problems. Three are many effects that are resulted by playing game in computer. The main impacts are addicted, joint diseases, unhealthy their eye. a growing number of children who are stricken mental disorders present that many children are addicted to play games. In addition, playing game in long periods for children have another effect for their bone and joint. Futhermore, it can be destructive their eye. This is because the children have to more concentration to look and to play the game. In my oppinion, the best solution for three problems is limiting using the computer. Myriad children or people still use the computer until several hours without taking a rest. Therefore, an effective way limiting using computer is to remember the time as using the computer. Moreover, while some children use the internet without taking a rest, they must do some pysical activity with their friends or their parents. This activity mau help then keeping their healthy. Doing physical activity will make the children to forget with habbituation in playing game. This method that is used for the children can reduce their habbit to play game. In conclusion, for the children, playing game gives a lot of effects to them, including physical and pysocological problems. The mist effective solution is to limit using the computer for playing game.
Three days to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
video game in computer is becoming more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The purpose of this essay Will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects which
is related
and to present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems. Three are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects that
are resulted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
game in computer. The main impacts
are addicted
, joint diseases, unhealthy their eye.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
growing number of
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children
who are stricken mental disorders present that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
game in long periods for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
for their bone and joint.
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Futhermore
, it can be destructive their eye. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
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children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
more concentration to look and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the game. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppinion
, the best solution for three problems is limiting using the computer. Myriad
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children
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer until several hours without taking a rest.
Therefore
, an effective way limiting using computer is to remember the time as using the computer.
Moreover
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet without taking a rest, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
pysical
activity with their friends or their parents. This activity
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mau
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
then keeping their healthy. Doing physical activity will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to forget with
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbituation
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
game. This method
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
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children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbit
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
game.
In conclusion
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
game gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effects to them, including physical and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pysocological
problems. The mist effective solution is to limit using the computer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
game.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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