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nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. what are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects

nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. what are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects NNbg
Nowadays, the existence of phones or tablets enables people to watch films, and some people believe that this is enough and they don’t need to go to cinemas for watching movies, while many people’s opinion is that cinema is essential and significant method to achieve complete enjoyment during watching a film. I agree with the first opinion and I see that watching movies on phones can give me a lot of pleasure without going to the cinema. There is no doubt that cinemas with its enormous halls, silent sounds except the movie sound, large screen size and appropriate surrounding conditions can provide special experience of watching a movie. However, cinemas have a number of disadvantages as the huge number of people in closed area can rise diseases and viruses spreading. Moreover, cinemas tickets may be not affordable for considerable percentage of the public. Regarding the means of transport to cinema, this also needs additional money. On the contrary, using phones or tablets is a great revolution in terms of relaxation and saving money. For instance, each person can watch and choose his favourite movies using online applications with no need of spending money or leaving home. Furthermore, this approach can save time of transportation and reduce the probability of catching viruses, such as COVID-19. In addition, not only there is no limited choices of movies compared with cinemas movies list but also everyone can choose his interesting type of movies (comedy, horror, action, documentary movies and other types) at his preferred time and location with close friend or family members or alone. In conclusion, although there are many advantages of watching movies in cinemas, using phones and tablets is more convenient and comfortable. With respect to money, time saving and variety of movies choices, using phones and tablets is more effective, and it can guarantee high level of entertainment and amusement without facing any potential infections because of being in a closed hall with vast number of people.
Nowadays, the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
enough and
they don’t need to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is essential and significant method to achieve complete enjoyment during watching a film. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
opinion and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can give me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pleasure without going to the cinema.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
with its enormous halls, silent sounds except the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
sound, large screen size and appropriate surrounding conditions can provide special experience of watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
have a number of disadvantages as the huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in closed area can rise diseases and viruses spreading.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
tickets may be not affordable for considerable percentage of the public. Regarding the means of transport to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, this
also
needs additional money.

On the contrary
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets is a great revolution in terms of relaxation and saving money.
For instance
, each person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and choose his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
using online applications with no need of spending money or leaving home.
Furthermore
, this approach can save time of transportation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the probability of catching viruses, such as COVID-19.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
there is no limited choices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
everyone can choose his interesting type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
(comedy, horror, action, documentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and other types) at his preferred time and location with close friend or family members or alone.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets is more convenient and comfortable. With respect to money, time saving and variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
choices, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets is more effective, and it can guarantee high level of entertainment and amusement without facing any potential infections
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being in a closed hall with vast number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. what are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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