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Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

In this modern life with the developed of technologies, video games are become a type of relaxing activities for all group of aged First, child plays video games for relaxing. Long day of study from school are intensively, students are all stress from that so when they come back home, they want a relaxing time. For example, video games are the best choice for relaxing, enjoy the game are making our head relax because video games are not making us thinking alot of its On the other hand, child are addicted to video games. Due to that problem is that they are to focus to the video games, always think about the games. For instance, the child will off class or using phone in class to enjoy it To wrap up, play video games are good it's lead us to relaxed time but if we depend on it the mark from school will decreased
In this modern life with the developed of technologies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are become
a type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxing
activities for all group of aged

First
, child plays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxing
. Long day of study from school are
intensively
, students are all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home, they want a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxing
time.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are the best choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxing
, enjoy the game are making our head relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are not making us thinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its


On the other hand
, child
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Due to that problem is that they are to focus to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For instance
, the child will off
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or using phone in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to enjoy
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
it


To wrap up, play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
it's lead us to relaxed time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we depend on it the mark from school will decreased
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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