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Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby.

Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby. N7Mg
it is true that shopping was considered as a daily necessary task previously. but in recent decades, many individuals make it as a passion. i completely agree with this statement. In previous time, people were not much aware of fashion. so they kept daily necessary groccerries in the market list for buying. similarly, markets were not available to the nearest place, therefore, people could not think to shop regularly. Also, the economic condition was not favorable to the ancient people as well. So people took shopping as a daily necessary house hold task. on the other hand, in recent times, shopping has been considered as a hobby to all ages of public society. First of all, the huge varieties of daily needs products are available with affordable price which attract all ages of customers specially the younger ones. another reason behind this is called the competition in social media which actually makes all individuals concern about the life style they are belonging. specially the the woman and teenagers are seen in the shopping centre very frequently. because of new fashioned products such as cloths, ornaments, make-up etc are in the top priority list among them. perhaps another key consideration is the availability of super shop center and huge supply of fashioned products which attracts all the people because of its marketing like packaging and pricing. from my perspective, not only business competition is growing but also the level of consumption is is increasing every sector of our life. so people make shopping as their daily task for exploring something new.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
was considered
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
necessary task previously.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
in recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it as a passion.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

In previous time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not much aware of fashion.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
necessary
Possible spelling mistake found.
groccerries
in the market list for buying.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
, markets were not available to the nearest place,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to shop
regularly
.
Also
, the economic condition was not favorable to the ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold task.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, in recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
been considered
as a hobby to all ages of public society.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the huge varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
needs products are available with affordable price which attract all ages of customers
specially
the younger ones.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
another
reason behind this
is called
the competition in social media which actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
all individuals concern about the life style they
The verb 'belonging' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are belonging
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
specially
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
woman and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of new fashioned products such as cloths, ornaments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up etc are in the top priority list among them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
perhaps
another key consideration is the availability of super shop center and huge supply of fashioned products which attracts all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its marketing like packaging and pricing.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
my perspective, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
business competition is growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the level of consumption
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
increasing every sector of our life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
task for exploring something new.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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