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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? 7bLb
A number of people in present times are more interested in becoming entrepreneurs instead of working for a company or an organisation. This may be due to many reasons like better income, no pressure from higher authorities etcetera. To begin with, there are a lot of perks of being a self-employed person. For example, they do not have any deadlines, work pressure and they do not have to maintain a tight schedule. Entrepreneurs can fix their own time and timetable and they can do work how ever they want from home or while travelling whereas, employees working for a multinational company should follow a strict timetable and rules of the organisation, they may have to work extra hours if they are asked to do so and they do not even granted holidays when needed. Moreover, they have low income as compared to the people who do their own business. On the other hand, there are equal number of diasadvantages of being self-employed person like they have to invest huge amounts of money to start a business or to buy the goods needed to establish a small scale company on their own. And they have to take risks as their growth is based on many factors and if the business is declining they may have to face losses and even worse someone people fall into financial crisis. In addition to this, entrepreneurs do not have job security as the employers of a company has. In conclusion, increasing number of people are showing their interest in starting their own business as it has many advantages which outweigh the disadvantages and manyo other still prefer working for a company
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in present times are more interested in becoming entrepreneurs
instead
of working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. This may be due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons like better income, no pressure from higher
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "authorities'" or "authority's"?
authorities
etcetera.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
perks of being a self-employed person.
For example
, they do not have any deadlines, work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pressure and
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain a tight schedule. Entrepreneurs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
timetable and
they can do work
Did you mean "however"?
how ever
they want from home or while travelling whereas, employees working for a multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should follow a strict timetable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work extra hours if they
are asked
to do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so and
they do not even
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "grant"?
granted
holidays when needed.
Moreover
, they have low income as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

On the other hand
, there are equal number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
diasadvantages
of being self-employed person like they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest huge amounts of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
needed to establish a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. And they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
as their growth
is based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors and if the business is declining they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face losses and even worse someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "peoples", "peopled".
people
fall into financial crisis.
In addition
to this, entrepreneurs do not have job security as the employers of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has.

In conclusion
, increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are showing their interest in starting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business as it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages which outweigh the disadvantages and
Possible spelling mistake found.
manyo
other
still
prefer working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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