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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? bypq
It is true that instead of working in a particular corporation, people tend to start up their own business. The cause of this is that the profit is way more than the person earns while working in a company. However, there are some disadvantages such as owner can suffer from mental problems due to a large number of responsibilities. This essay will explain the reason behind this and also the disadvantages of being self-employed. The main reason why people want to become self-employed is that the profit is by far the highest than working as an employee. For instance, the general worker of a particular company in India earns around ₹10, 000 to 20000 depending on a job. However, the owner of a specific corporation can gain two or three times higher than that of the general worker. The cause of this is that the money generated from the self-owned business will remain to a company's owner and some amount of money distributed among workers as salary. Therefore, owners earn way more than employees of a particular organization. As a result, people tend to open their own business. There are certain drawbacks to this notion, like the responsibilities of the owner will increase. As a consequence, a self-employed person can suffer from mental problems such as depression and anxiety. Despite hiring workforce, the stress of managing and handling the work remains on the owner. Hence, self-employed individuals always remain stressed about managing the business. To conclude, it is true that people nowadays more inclined towards self-employment due to the profit generated by these businesses. However, there are drawbacks like an owner can suffer from mental problems because of increased responsibilities.
It is true that
instead
of working in a particular corporation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. The cause of this is that the profit is way more than the person earns while working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
can suffer from mental problems due to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
responsibilities. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason behind this and
also
the disadvantages of being self-employed.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to become self-employed is that the profit is by far the
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
highest
than working as an employee.
For instance
, the general worker of a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in India earns around ₹10, 000 to 20000 depending on a job.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
of a specific corporation can gain two or three times higher than that of the general worker. The cause of this is that the money generated from the self-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
business will remain to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money distributed among workers as salary.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
earn way more than employees of a particular organization.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to open their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

There are certain drawbacks to this notion, like the responsibilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
will increase. As a consequence, a self-employed person can suffer from mental problems such as depression and anxiety. Despite hiring workforce, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of managing and handling the work remains on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
.
Hence
, self-employed individuals always remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
about managing the business.

To conclude
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays more inclined towards self-employment due to the profit generated by these businesses.
However
, there are drawbacks like an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
can suffer from mental problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increased responsibilities.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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